Welcome back. You belong here.
I'll be doing a blog fast for the next 3 days: Friday-Sunday. I'll start up again next Monday. It'll be good for me, less writing and thinking out loud here and more processing, praying.
I got the idea from TallSkinnyKiwi: The Spirituality of Not Blogging. Here's what he had to say:
"At my seminar, I also talked about the spirituality of not blogging which include disciplines such as refusing to jump into the internet before prayerful mediation, and the 'BLOG FAST' in which we take 3 days off to nail our blog to the cross and purge our addition to readership, hits and traffic. But then you cant experience the spiritual joys of not blogging unless you blog in the first place."
Into the future,
davidT
UPDATE: The fast has gone on longer than 3 days, which I've actually needed. It's been very good for me, a great discipline. I can say I have "nailed my blog to the cross and purge my addiction to readership, hits and traffics." I have not been able to keep up with all of you my friends, I have missed you, but that too has been part of my fast and it's been good. So now, I am done with my blog fast. Thank you for your friendship.
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Monday, September 26, 2005
I Surrender Lord, I Think
Welcome back. You are welcomed here.
Last night slash early this morning it all came to a head. Couldn't sleep, worried about a million little things, feeling attacked in the usual areas – you’re not important, God can't use you, comparing myself to others who seem to have it all together, focusing on all I'm not, forgetting God's promises and goodness.
So as I prayed, I told God through my tears, "Jesus, why don't you help me? Why do you let me go through these times..." "I wish I would feel none of these things, why do I keep coming back to this place? Why don't you help me?"
One of those nights...
The more I prayed, the more upset I got at the seeming silence from God, which made me feel even more awake, ie not sleeping which frustrated me even further. I kept saying, "Jesus, why don't you let me sleep?"
Amazing how much why this and why that is in my conscience in times like these. We all know Job's story and the foolishness of why questions, but there I was, being human and a fool. Been there before. How about you?
Then something really weird happened as I prayed. I fell asleep. What was weird about that is that I didn't feel tired at that particularly moment, it was as if God said, "let me show you how powerful I am. I can put you to sleep in the blink of an eye, that's how great and awesome I am..." I woke up sort of shocked at the experience of falling asleep unexpectedly, as if I had angered God and He showed me a little bit of his power and that I am but dust.
This morning it all kept hitting me like a ton of bricks. So as I layed on the floor talking to my wife about last night and with little David running around us with his truck, we talked. I love those moments when we can be real with one another. She encouraged me to not swing all the way to the other side, but to listen to God’s voice. Good advice.
I've been unwilling to give God control, I've been holding on too tightly to my life, job, decisions, who I'm supposed to be, what I'm supposed to be doing. And for the last 4-5 weeks I was sure trying to be all things to all people. It doesn't work, it never does, not for long at least. God wasn't anywhere to be found, not in my songs or in my worship, not in my service or leadership, not in my blogging or songwriting.
He was in the surrendering. Last night, there He was and it wasn't pretty, in fact it was almost scary. God is a consuming fire. Yes, I remember that Third Day tune, I thought it was just a song.
I have to surrender trying to do stuff on my own strength. You know, the Fall Kick Off thing and all that goes with that in churches, where you have to DO, DO, DO. I've been there, and I've done more this year than ever. God is at work, people are being changed, lives are being touched, artist transformation is happening, I'm counseling, serving, singing, etc. There have been some dud moments along the way as well. But it's been a lot of me and not enough of God.
"I consider all things loss, for the sake of knowing you..."
The irony is that I've been seeking God, in His Word, worship, friendships, at home, but I have not been listening or obeying God's voice. He’s been telling me to surrender it all and I’ve been unwilling to do it.
Psalm 33 was the latest challenge:
16 No king is saved by the size of his army;
no warrior escapes by his great strength.
17 A horse is a vain hope for deliverance;
despite all its great strength it cannot save.
18 But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him,
on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,
19 to deliver them from death
and keep them alive in famine.
20 We wait in hope for the LORD;
he is our help and our shield.
21 In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.
22 May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD,
even as we put our hope in you.
It's not the size of the army that saves me, it's not the great ministry around me that makes me or breaks me, it's not my efforts that make me look good or not. If the Lord had not been on our side, we would have despaired. Apart from me you can do nothing.
Yeah, yeah, I know. And that's been my problem, I thought I was doing well but I wasn't. I was counseling people with the stuff, but not heeding it myself. So no song has been written, no book, just this post to you the reader. I'm no where special or new or exciting except humbled and 'filthy in my sin' of rebellion, control, self-dependency and disobedience.
The Spirit says, “Trust me. Let me guide you, I am the best thing in your life. I am your wisdom for life, for ministry, for leadership. I am your worship leader, your administrator, your pastor, your guide and counselor, I am the Spirit.” Yes, Lord, not to us but to Your Name be the glory. Let me start there, let me not forget this moment.
I surrender Lord, I think.
I am sinful and temporal and forgetful and my flesh is weak. But my heart has turned to You. You are my all in all Jesus, help my unbelief, forgive my rebellious nature, turn not your Spirit from me, my bones are out of joint, I am broken and alone. But my heart has turned to You. Don’t stay away, there’s no one to help but You, don’t stay away, what else can I say but You? But You. Save me, Oh Lord.
Into the future,
davidT
Last night slash early this morning it all came to a head. Couldn't sleep, worried about a million little things, feeling attacked in the usual areas – you’re not important, God can't use you, comparing myself to others who seem to have it all together, focusing on all I'm not, forgetting God's promises and goodness.
So as I prayed, I told God through my tears, "Jesus, why don't you help me? Why do you let me go through these times..." "I wish I would feel none of these things, why do I keep coming back to this place? Why don't you help me?"
One of those nights...
The more I prayed, the more upset I got at the seeming silence from God, which made me feel even more awake, ie not sleeping which frustrated me even further. I kept saying, "Jesus, why don't you let me sleep?"
Amazing how much why this and why that is in my conscience in times like these. We all know Job's story and the foolishness of why questions, but there I was, being human and a fool. Been there before. How about you?
Then something really weird happened as I prayed. I fell asleep. What was weird about that is that I didn't feel tired at that particularly moment, it was as if God said, "let me show you how powerful I am. I can put you to sleep in the blink of an eye, that's how great and awesome I am..." I woke up sort of shocked at the experience of falling asleep unexpectedly, as if I had angered God and He showed me a little bit of his power and that I am but dust.
This morning it all kept hitting me like a ton of bricks. So as I layed on the floor talking to my wife about last night and with little David running around us with his truck, we talked. I love those moments when we can be real with one another. She encouraged me to not swing all the way to the other side, but to listen to God’s voice. Good advice.
I've been unwilling to give God control, I've been holding on too tightly to my life, job, decisions, who I'm supposed to be, what I'm supposed to be doing. And for the last 4-5 weeks I was sure trying to be all things to all people. It doesn't work, it never does, not for long at least. God wasn't anywhere to be found, not in my songs or in my worship, not in my service or leadership, not in my blogging or songwriting.
He was in the surrendering. Last night, there He was and it wasn't pretty, in fact it was almost scary. God is a consuming fire. Yes, I remember that Third Day tune, I thought it was just a song.
I have to surrender trying to do stuff on my own strength. You know, the Fall Kick Off thing and all that goes with that in churches, where you have to DO, DO, DO. I've been there, and I've done more this year than ever. God is at work, people are being changed, lives are being touched, artist transformation is happening, I'm counseling, serving, singing, etc. There have been some dud moments along the way as well. But it's been a lot of me and not enough of God.
"I consider all things loss, for the sake of knowing you..."
The irony is that I've been seeking God, in His Word, worship, friendships, at home, but I have not been listening or obeying God's voice. He’s been telling me to surrender it all and I’ve been unwilling to do it.
Psalm 33 was the latest challenge:
16 No king is saved by the size of his army;
no warrior escapes by his great strength.
17 A horse is a vain hope for deliverance;
despite all its great strength it cannot save.
18 But the eyes of the LORD are on those who fear him,
on those whose hope is in his unfailing love,
19 to deliver them from death
and keep them alive in famine.
20 We wait in hope for the LORD;
he is our help and our shield.
21 In him our hearts rejoice,
for we trust in his holy name.
22 May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD,
even as we put our hope in you.
It's not the size of the army that saves me, it's not the great ministry around me that makes me or breaks me, it's not my efforts that make me look good or not. If the Lord had not been on our side, we would have despaired. Apart from me you can do nothing.
Yeah, yeah, I know. And that's been my problem, I thought I was doing well but I wasn't. I was counseling people with the stuff, but not heeding it myself. So no song has been written, no book, just this post to you the reader. I'm no where special or new or exciting except humbled and 'filthy in my sin' of rebellion, control, self-dependency and disobedience.
The Spirit says, “Trust me. Let me guide you, I am the best thing in your life. I am your wisdom for life, for ministry, for leadership. I am your worship leader, your administrator, your pastor, your guide and counselor, I am the Spirit.” Yes, Lord, not to us but to Your Name be the glory. Let me start there, let me not forget this moment.
I surrender Lord, I think.
I am sinful and temporal and forgetful and my flesh is weak. But my heart has turned to You. You are my all in all Jesus, help my unbelief, forgive my rebellious nature, turn not your Spirit from me, my bones are out of joint, I am broken and alone. But my heart has turned to You. Don’t stay away, there’s no one to help but You, don’t stay away, what else can I say but You? But You. Save me, Oh Lord.
Into the future,
davidT
Friday, September 23, 2005
Sometimes You're Just Not Writing
Welcome back. You are welcomed here.
Sometimes the blog writing 'gene' just isn't there. You know what I'm talking about. This is such a time. Not much to say.
In terms of song writing, I'm not writing much either, instead I'm learning new melodies. I don't want to write more songs in the same way I've been writing them, with the same sound and melodic structure I've been doing. So I'm listening to Sting, Coldplay (of course), John Mayer and others just analyzing beautiful melodies such as "Sacred Love", "Come Back to Bed", "You Should Be Dancing", "Message" and others.
I'm looking at their intervals, where they start in the scale, chord progressions, analyzing what makes these songs sound so beautiful. I got the idea from Mute Math, when asked how they make music.
Someone told me today, "I'm glad someone's doing that...." I guess I am.
Into the future,
davidT
Sometimes the blog writing 'gene' just isn't there. You know what I'm talking about. This is such a time. Not much to say.
In terms of song writing, I'm not writing much either, instead I'm learning new melodies. I don't want to write more songs in the same way I've been writing them, with the same sound and melodic structure I've been doing. So I'm listening to Sting, Coldplay (of course), John Mayer and others just analyzing beautiful melodies such as "Sacred Love", "Come Back to Bed", "You Should Be Dancing", "Message" and others.
I'm looking at their intervals, where they start in the scale, chord progressions, analyzing what makes these songs sound so beautiful. I got the idea from Mute Math, when asked how they make music.
Someone told me today, "I'm glad someone's doing that...." I guess I am.
Into the future,
davidT
Monday, September 19, 2005
The Confidence to Serve
Welcome back. You belong here.
In the book "Working with Emotional Intelligence" it says that an emotionally intelligent person (I love that term) has three things:
1. EMOTIONAL AWARENESS: The recognition of how our emotions affect our performance, and the ability to guide our values to guide decision making.
This is crucial for me. On personality tests I'm off the chart on emotions, but I've learned to recognize when I'm being emotional, pause, give it a day or two, and then make my decision based upon values. My values are clear, those hardly change.
2. ACCURATE SELF-ASSESMENT: A candid sense of our personal strengths and limits, a clear vision of where we need to improve, and the ability to learn from experience.
This has been a hard one for me but I'm growing in it as well. I can do many things well, but only a few very well. There are things I don't do well. When people say to me, "David, you do .... well", I'm understanding it as true.
One big revelation and it's really an issue of surrendering pride, position, power, etc. is when I recently told the Lord, "..I don't have to teach it, lead it, speak it, play it, sing it....send the people that will do what they do best, send those who will lead, organize, I will do whatever you want me to do, I will work the parking lot, I will work the 4-year old class, you know what I do best Lord, use me in anyway you want, as long as I get to be a part of your kingdom work and its expansion." That may sound obvious, but it was huge for me because it dealt with self-assesment. Just yesterday, I was setting up tables and picking up trash at a church event. I did it gladly.
If I was to rank three of my strengths and three weaknesses, I would say the strengths deal with vision, relationships and the arts, while the weaknesses deal with structure, systems and organization. I also need to extend more grace, laugh more often, be more kind and gentle, make quicker decisions, be less uptight, and have more realistic expectations. Apart from that I'm great!
I have a passion for Jesus and His kingdom, for people and relationships, to equip others, to love, to think of what could be. If that's good enough, Lord send me!
3. SELF-CONFIDENCE: The courage that comes from certainty about our capabilities, values and goals.
This one has been the biggest area of growth for me, to thyself be true. To know myself and to go deep in those areas, to say no to things I don't do well. I also want to do keep doing things that stretch me. As when I went to Russia, working with 32 children for 2 weeks was not my strength, but God stretched me and taught me to love children sacrificially. That experience, although not in my area of strength, shaped me for the rest of my life. I still miss those children.
I'm also learning to step into my call more and more even when it's scary. I'm learning to propose ideas, to offer a different or similar view, to ask the hard questions, to let my vote count. These are the things that I've struggled with and others have criticized me for not using 'my influence'. I'm working on that and I feel God's strength when I speak up in unity and love, not afraid, but confident in what God is doing.
At the end of the day self-sacrifice, service and humility are some of the traits that mark a great life. I'm thankful for all the pastors, leaders and regular folk that teach me daily to lead and to serve. I need more of your help. I am so unqualified if not for the grace of King Jesus. He was the ultimate emotionally intelligent person, He knew his cause, his power, his purpose in coming to Earth. I want to be like you Lord.
Into the future,
davidT
In the book "Working with Emotional Intelligence" it says that an emotionally intelligent person (I love that term) has three things:
1. EMOTIONAL AWARENESS: The recognition of how our emotions affect our performance, and the ability to guide our values to guide decision making.
This is crucial for me. On personality tests I'm off the chart on emotions, but I've learned to recognize when I'm being emotional, pause, give it a day or two, and then make my decision based upon values. My values are clear, those hardly change.
2. ACCURATE SELF-ASSESMENT: A candid sense of our personal strengths and limits, a clear vision of where we need to improve, and the ability to learn from experience.
This has been a hard one for me but I'm growing in it as well. I can do many things well, but only a few very well. There are things I don't do well. When people say to me, "David, you do .... well", I'm understanding it as true.
One big revelation and it's really an issue of surrendering pride, position, power, etc. is when I recently told the Lord, "..I don't have to teach it, lead it, speak it, play it, sing it....send the people that will do what they do best, send those who will lead, organize, I will do whatever you want me to do, I will work the parking lot, I will work the 4-year old class, you know what I do best Lord, use me in anyway you want, as long as I get to be a part of your kingdom work and its expansion." That may sound obvious, but it was huge for me because it dealt with self-assesment. Just yesterday, I was setting up tables and picking up trash at a church event. I did it gladly.
If I was to rank three of my strengths and three weaknesses, I would say the strengths deal with vision, relationships and the arts, while the weaknesses deal with structure, systems and organization. I also need to extend more grace, laugh more often, be more kind and gentle, make quicker decisions, be less uptight, and have more realistic expectations. Apart from that I'm great!
I have a passion for Jesus and His kingdom, for people and relationships, to equip others, to love, to think of what could be. If that's good enough, Lord send me!
3. SELF-CONFIDENCE: The courage that comes from certainty about our capabilities, values and goals.
This one has been the biggest area of growth for me, to thyself be true. To know myself and to go deep in those areas, to say no to things I don't do well. I also want to do keep doing things that stretch me. As when I went to Russia, working with 32 children for 2 weeks was not my strength, but God stretched me and taught me to love children sacrificially. That experience, although not in my area of strength, shaped me for the rest of my life. I still miss those children.
I'm also learning to step into my call more and more even when it's scary. I'm learning to propose ideas, to offer a different or similar view, to ask the hard questions, to let my vote count. These are the things that I've struggled with and others have criticized me for not using 'my influence'. I'm working on that and I feel God's strength when I speak up in unity and love, not afraid, but confident in what God is doing.
At the end of the day self-sacrifice, service and humility are some of the traits that mark a great life. I'm thankful for all the pastors, leaders and regular folk that teach me daily to lead and to serve. I need more of your help. I am so unqualified if not for the grace of King Jesus. He was the ultimate emotionally intelligent person, He knew his cause, his power, his purpose in coming to Earth. I want to be like you Lord.
Into the future,
davidT
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Do You Have New Music?
Welcome back. You belong here.
The worship leader's never ending task. New music, new worship material. We do about 50% original stuff, but I'm always looking for new songs.
What are you listening to that you recommend? I'm into just about anything, hip-hop, R&B, rock, pop, urban, emo, indie. Hymns are always in. No country or Southern Gospel. Sorry.
I'm especially hungry for something with some flavor.
Into the future,
davidT
The worship leader's never ending task. New music, new worship material. We do about 50% original stuff, but I'm always looking for new songs.
What are you listening to that you recommend? I'm into just about anything, hip-hop, R&B, rock, pop, urban, emo, indie. Hymns are always in. No country or Southern Gospel. Sorry.
I'm especially hungry for something with some flavor.
Into the future,
davidT
Monday, September 12, 2005
It Feels Good To Read at 8pm
Welcome back. You are welcomed here.
Had dinner together as a family, then I washed the dishes, swept the floor, cleaned the table. This morning, mowed the lawn (front and back, I do my own yard work), chest and back, abs, treadmill (25mns). We let out a butterfly, saw it spread its wings for the first time.
Children are down. Sang, prayed for them together with Rachelle.
Lit two candles on the kitchen counter, classical music (I was listening to Sting and 'banda' music prior to that).
Now, I'm reading about the Council of Nicea, studying for my quiz (Wed. Talbot seminary, Survey of Theology). I've been reading for a good 25mns now. Sometimes it feels good just to read slowly, letting it all sink in, line by line (I power read most of the time). Good times, today was a beautiful sunny day.
Heart rate: Slow and steady
Mood: Content
Into the future,
davidT
Had dinner together as a family, then I washed the dishes, swept the floor, cleaned the table. This morning, mowed the lawn (front and back, I do my own yard work), chest and back, abs, treadmill (25mns). We let out a butterfly, saw it spread its wings for the first time.
Children are down. Sang, prayed for them together with Rachelle.
Lit two candles on the kitchen counter, classical music (I was listening to Sting and 'banda' music prior to that).
Now, I'm reading about the Council of Nicea, studying for my quiz (Wed. Talbot seminary, Survey of Theology). I've been reading for a good 25mns now. Sometimes it feels good just to read slowly, letting it all sink in, line by line (I power read most of the time). Good times, today was a beautiful sunny day.
Heart rate: Slow and steady
Mood: Content
Into the future,
davidT
Saturday, September 10, 2005
From Doing to Serving
Welcome back. You belong here.Today, I switched from doing a ministry at the church, to leading leaders that will carry it on.
I've done this other times, so you'd think I'd realize it on the spot, but today it caught me by surprise. At our Artist Catalyst meeting (leaders in the Arts), I thought I needed to do most of the work in a certain area of our Arts ministry. I had invited two leaders to come join the group thinking they would want to help some, but I quickly realized that they were ready to own this thing!
So on my way home, I prayed, asked the Lord for His advice, listened to His Spirit, questioned some of my feelings that weren't right (the Spirit often does this!) and called them and said, this is yours, run with it.
These two leaders have been serving faithfully in the Arts and now they're ready to fly. I will still be there for them but in a different way which actually I am best at, that of visionary, servant, encourager and equipper. And they get to do what they do best and together we get to see the Body grow and be equipped and see Artists lives be changed for eternity. Wow.
It's tough to grow as a leader and make decisions when least expected, but when people feel your support and feel you believe in them (artists especially need this), it's a beautiful thing.
UDPATE: Speaking of leadership, did you see the report last night on the Dream Center housing over 200 Katrina evacuees? Matthew Barnette is my hero. I was just at the Dream Center two Sundays ago and I am even more impressed now. The report said that there is a Dream Center in a city near New Orleans and one thing led to another. Amazing leadership Matthew, good job!
They're in need of 200 volunteers to sort and organize donations, lift heavy boxes, answer phones, sort clothes. I'm going next week and taking a group with me. I don't want to just sit around, I want to do something.
Into the future,
davidT
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Updated Blogs I Read List
Welcome back. You are welcomed here.
I updated my "blogs I read" list today. There are a lot of great blogs out there. I actually read more than the ones I have listed here, but these are the ones I read most often. Check them out!
If you have a blog and you're not on my list, let me know. I may already read your blog and may just not have you on my list. If you read my blog, and don't have a blog of your own, what are you waiting for?
Into the future,
davidT
I updated my "blogs I read" list today. There are a lot of great blogs out there. I actually read more than the ones I have listed here, but these are the ones I read most often. Check them out!
If you have a blog and you're not on my list, let me know. I may already read your blog and may just not have you on my list. If you read my blog, and don't have a blog of your own, what are you waiting for?
Into the future,
davidT
Saturday, September 03, 2005
Kanye's Comments About Bush-True or False?
Welcome back. You belong here.
Kanye West has a big mouth, he'll tell you that in his music. I'm still a fan, but this is too much.
On the other hand, it speaks to the sentiment many are feeling, including myself:
1. Was the reponse too late?
2. Was the response slower than say 9/11? LA riots? Northridge quake?
3. Is the Louisiana response typical for water disasters? What was the response like in Indonesia during the tsunamis?
How can this be racial? Tragedy is tragedy. America would not let people die due to race. But things do seem slow.
Kanye also said that the media calls it looting when they see a black family, but they call it 'looking for food' when it's a white family. I don't buy that either. During the LA riots, people were looting, not looking for food. Looting is looting. It happended during the Sandinista war in Nicaragua, I remember people (some of our neighbors) walking in front of our home with stolen TVs and radios.
I saw an interview on TV with black leaders calling for race not to become an issue during this disaster. Others in New Orleans said that America is divided racially more than we think or are willing to admit, and this event shows us just how bad things are. He went on to say that it's good to face the facts so we can keep fixing the problem.
If race is a part of this, let's talk about it. But when we look at the images on TV, it doesn't matter what color people are. Let's look at the need and do something about it.
UPDATE: Today our church took an offering for our association's (CBA) efforts in the affected areas. The offering is going towards Evangelical organizations serving the victims of hurricane Katrina such as "Samaritan's Purse." The need is great, every bit counts.
Into the future,
davidT
Friday, September 02, 2005
Cancelling Stuff
Welcome back. You are welcomed here.
Sometimes when the 5th and 6th event you had planned for Sep-Oct just is not there, you gotta learn to cancel.
I've reached that point. Can't do it all. Cant' ask more from our people, you have to know when to say no. Know what I mean?
Into the future,
davidT
Sometimes when the 5th and 6th event you had planned for Sep-Oct just is not there, you gotta learn to cancel.
I've reached that point. Can't do it all. Cant' ask more from our people, you have to know when to say no. Know what I mean?
Into the future,
davidT
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
My Cell Phone is on Vibrate
Welcome back. You belong here.
One way to bring the noise down in my life is to leave my cell phone on vibrate. I hardly miss any calls (unless I'm busy) because I usually keep the phone in my pocket. Not having the noise around works for me, it's one less thing screaming out, "Get to me! Get to me!"
btw, have you noticed how much louder and obnoxious 'ring tones' are getting? Wow, it's like having a concert around all day long. Now be honest, how many of you have such little demonic ring tones? I admit, I have one of a song I wrote.
Ah, silence.
Feel that? You should try it.
Into the future,
davidT
One way to bring the noise down in my life is to leave my cell phone on vibrate. I hardly miss any calls (unless I'm busy) because I usually keep the phone in my pocket. Not having the noise around works for me, it's one less thing screaming out, "Get to me! Get to me!"
btw, have you noticed how much louder and obnoxious 'ring tones' are getting? Wow, it's like having a concert around all day long. Now be honest, how many of you have such little demonic ring tones? I admit, I have one of a song I wrote.
Ah, silence.
Feel that? You should try it.
Into the future,
davidT
Monday, August 29, 2005
New Workout Routine
Welcome back. You are welcomed here.
I'm into weightraining, I've been into it for almost 2 years now. I also follow an eating plan, six meals a day, no fats, no sugars, protein drinks, lots of chicken, tuna, vegetables, and a ton of water. I lift 4x a week and run 3x/week, abs every day. I rest 1x or 2x/week.
If you want to get started, I can help.
Part of muscle growth includes diversifying your routine. Muscles get used to anything after enough time, so you have to keep them guessing. You really should switch up every 3-4 months.
For the last year, I've been doing the Arnold's Body Building Level 1 Program (Arnold is in the middle, holding a towel in the picture). I'll go back to that someday, perhaps in the Winter. But it's time for a change.
So, the last 3-4 weeks, I've been following Dave Draper's Program (the Blond Bomber is on the left in the picture), which is a Day 1, Day 2 program and you alternate the two routines. It's higher rep, different exercises than Arnold's program, a bit longer (65-70mns) versus Arnold's which was 50-55mns, but it's fun, different and most of all stimulating.
The results? I'm no Arnold that's for sure, I'm all natural, he was on steroids as was Draper. But I've noticed more muscle density in my arms the last few weeks. I took pictures last week and they weren't bad. We'll see what happens the rest of the Fall.
Into the future,
davidT
Sunday, August 28, 2005
America's Black Forum, My Pink Slip?
Welcome back. You belong here.
If your vision is for a year, plant wheat.
If your vision is for ten years, plant trees.
If your vision is for a lifetime, plant people.
CHINESE PROVERB
That proverb pumps me up, I'm committed to planting people. But what color of people?
Today, on America's Black Forum, one of the guests said to Julian Bond and other black leaders that they were fired! That he was giving them a pink slip for not having mentored young black leaders over the last 25 years. That it was their fault they knew little of Dr. King, didn't volunteer, weren't in church, etc. Ouch.
I am currently mentoring anywhere between 10-15 young leaders in different areas at different levels. How many of these Young Leaders are Latino or African American, Asian, etc? 2 Latinos, 1 African American, 3 Asian Americans. This is a great start, but more has to be done. How many Latino, African American, Asian leaders go to my church or am I in relationship with? The ratios are about right.
Would I get a pink slip too?
I don't want to get a pink slip for not having mentored young Latino men and women as well as other minority leaders. The problem is that most of the people in my church are White. So the percentages are about right for my context.
So should I say, "I want to mentor Latino leaders at my church"? That may come across as narrow to my mostly White church. And here's the rub, most of the young non-White leaders in my church, see themselves as, should I say it, White. Most of our non-White young leaders are seeking to fit in, to assimilate to the majority White culture, not the other way around.
I recently spoke to a young Latino leader, an educator, professional musician, leader, ambitious, but lacking in male role models. He doesn't see himself as a young Latino leader, just simply as a young professional.
My opinion, is that this is part of the 'coming out' process I went through.
Stage 1: Assimilate totally to the majority culture
Stage 2: Assimilate partially to the majority culture
Stage 3: Identify with my own culture
Stage 4: Bring my culture into the majority culture and make the world a better place
I read a version of these stages in a book a while back.
Now some would say, in Christ there is no Black nor White, which I never get. I don't even know that Heaven is void of culture, there's a lot of tribe, tongue, culture, nations language in Revelation. But here on earth, culture is real, and it is something to share and learn to deal with. Otherwise we'll just Crash into each other as the movie claims and end up making really bad choices.
So back to mentoring minority leaders, I need to put myself in contexts where these young men and women are. Whether at my church, or at the church plants of some of my pastor friends. And I hope they want this connection.
So what wisdom do you guys have? How do I bring culture into the conversation with non-White leaders? I can think of a few friends that connect with their culture, but realistically, most of them leave our church after a while. They don't feel they fit in. That's part of why I'm there.
Maybe today's church visit inspired me. Today my wife, children and I went to the Dream Center with Matthew Barnett in downtown Los Angeles at Angelus Temple. Large, amazing, diverse. Pastor, as they call Matthew Barnett their senior pastor, taught on kindness from Eph. 4:32, very convicting. The band was large, concert level, like Leno, Letterman, Hillsongs, Lakewood, an incredible remodel of that old building. They were amazing. Somewhat me-centered worship, help me, love me, I give you me, etc. not enough You are Good, You are Holy, You are Faithful. But if I was to do downtown Long Beach, that's a great model of gospel, worship, "Hope for the Homeless", "Adopt a Block", entrepreneural vibe, new this, new that, new cafe business opening up this week. And what touched me the most was the diversity of people, poor and rich, actors and homeless.
The sad thing is that some in my context would say, don't develop young leaders around culture, just develop leaders. I'm doing that, but I'm not seeing non-White leaders developed. I am seeing leaders developed, but I hurt for the lack of mentorship among my Latino, African American, Asian and other friends. Something has to change. After all, I don't want to get that pink slip.
Into the future,
davidT
Saturday, August 27, 2005
What Lies Ahead, a New Kind of Church System
Welcome back. You belong here.
In Long Beach, CA (as in any urban center) we have issues related to church growth:
1. Buildings
2. Parking
3. Budget
4. Pluralism
5. Racial and Economic Diversity
ALONG SIDE OF THAT YOU STILL HAVE, as far as I can tell, an old system of churches doing their own thing with lack of trust, competition and fear across denominational and cultural lines. Black churches do their thing, Whites, Hispanics, Cambodian, etc.
Of course, many of these non-White churches exist by meeting in the 'fellowship halls' of aging, near-dead traditional churches, as well as growing White churches, which by the way are also a mission field (we need to help aging White congregations, not just rip off their buildings and space). The relationship between these groups can be anywhere from amiable, to competitive, and in some cases even dysfunctional. I've seen this first hand.
THEN WE HAVE LONG BEACH CHURCH PLANTING. Long Beach is hot for church planters and God is using them, in fact, more church plants are needed in Long Beach, more good church plants at least. All the ones I've interacted with are great church plants, led by great men and teams. But they also deal with the same issues of space, budget, leadership development, getting flyers and invites out to Area 1, Area 2 trying to reach people with the Message of Jesus Christ.
Emergent is relatively new in Long Beach but there's a pulse mostly among these new church plants. If Emergent is missional, communal, relational, justice and mercy oriented, if Emergent is artistic, contemplative and honest, most of these new church plants have it.
But the problem is that for the most part, whether new or old, traditional, contemporary or emergent, most of our Long Beach churches still do their own thing. There are efforts such as Kingdom Causes that are trying to bring pastors together to pray and to allow for relationship, but more needs to be done.
WHAT I AM RECOMMENDING IS ALONG the lines of a united staff to lead multiple churches. A sharing of power, a non-traditional approach to leadership with four or five pastors together leading, shepherding, evangelizing and developing leaders for multiple churches together in community. Messy? Yes, but God can do the impossible and we need it.
The larger churches can do this by having two or three of their staff, say in my case, commit to developing the Arts in 4-5 churches for 6 months to a year. In the course of that time, my job would be to develop artistic leadership by modeling the values of worship, a devotional life, intimacy, community and transformation among artist, stuff that I believe in and have done in our own church. And from day one lead along side of a local, indigenous worship leader in training who will actually remain with the local church. The same can be done in preaching, discipleship, facilities, tech, small groups, spritual formation, children’s ministry, evangelism.
This assumes a few things of these New Kind of Pastors:
1. They are committed to a non-traditional approach to leadership
2. They are willing to trust one another
3. They are willing to share what they have
4. They are secure in their own gifts and role
The biggest obstacles to this New Kind of Church are:
1. Pride
2. Ego
3. Power
4. Control
5. Insecurity
6. Competition
7. Lack of Trust
With the struggles urban centers deal with all across the U.S. we need to attempt different church systems and leadership structures. I think this new approach can be used in most urban centers of our country and around the world. My guess is this is already being done in non-religious settings.
YOU LOOK AT THE CURRENT MULTI-SITE MODEL, or the old church planting center model, these systems require BUCKS, BUDGET AND SIZE and their main objective is to grow a BIGGER ME. A church plant of 200, a new church of 20-30, a traditional church of 40-50 cannot do this. Even medium size churches of 1000-2000 are hard pressed to go multi-site because they may lack the leadership structure to do this (in other words, they have not developed people to actually go), or they don't have the budget to buy 2-3 times over curriculum, leasing/rental fees, audio equipment, staff and more.
It's time for a Root System approach to church leadership versus the Tower of Babel traditional approach, where the bigger churches send, diversify their goods and services perhaps even liquify some of them to serve other churches, and this is not to just give them a fish, although I'm fine with that, but to develop local leadership and most of all to unite, to bring relationship and friendship among pastors, congregations and churches.
THIS IS NOT AN ASSOCIATION OR A DENOMINATION, this is a root system, a network, an alliance of churches, Emergent Leadership, led by a group of pastors committed to relationship, leadership, to Long Beach, humbly submitting to one another, can I say this again, humbly submitting to one another and committed to seeing the Kingdom of God expand in our city.
This model, like the current multi-site model, is something that not every can do or will buy into, but as the problems surrounding church growth continue, new kind of church systems must emerge.
Do you know anyone on your staff, leadership team or community that thinks this way?
THIS IS A SYSTEM I AM COMMITTED TO. This is what I already do and believe in. This could help churches expand the Kingdom of God in their own cities by bringing together staff and resources towards a common cause.
I want more than a bigger, better MY CHURCH. In fact, I'm not sure if bigger is even possible in Long Beach or most urban centers. I don't want to grow old doing what I do mostly for the benefit of MY CHURCH. And at least for me, I've dedicated myself by God's grace, to equipping and developing people that are ready, and if anything may be bored to death with the lack of missional, servant, relational ministry between churches. Isn’t it always awkward when someone in your church helps another church? Sort of like, hey, I thought you were committed to MY church.
IT'S TIME TO UNLEASH PEOPLE'S GIFTS in new ways, to give them a greater vision than for our own churches. It's time to ask those with the gift of giving for $5 million to fund these projects, it's time to talk to pastors of dying churches about renewing their vision. It's time to once again ask God for the impossible, things that will challenge our hearts and attitudes.
I am convinced that there is a generation of pastors both young and old, new and traditional that are ready for this. And although we all worry about budgets, salaries, how exactly will this work, etc. there is something inside of us saying, keep talking, this sounds right.
We need to give answers to the hard questions, to provide the details of how this will work. We’ll get there. I have three Long Beach pastors to whom I've spoken, and they feel God is in this, they are open to this conversation. Currently, we meet at my house. Seeing these young pastors from different churches in my backyard, talking, praying, sharing our struggles, our concerns, learning to be friends not competitors, is one of my greatest rewards. Now, it's time to organize and do something great that will cause Satan to run and allow for the presence of God to move in a powerful way in our beloved city of Long Beach.
Into the future,
davidT
In Long Beach, CA (as in any urban center) we have issues related to church growth:
1. Buildings
2. Parking
3. Budget
4. Pluralism
5. Racial and Economic Diversity
ALONG SIDE OF THAT YOU STILL HAVE, as far as I can tell, an old system of churches doing their own thing with lack of trust, competition and fear across denominational and cultural lines. Black churches do their thing, Whites, Hispanics, Cambodian, etc.
Of course, many of these non-White churches exist by meeting in the 'fellowship halls' of aging, near-dead traditional churches, as well as growing White churches, which by the way are also a mission field (we need to help aging White congregations, not just rip off their buildings and space). The relationship between these groups can be anywhere from amiable, to competitive, and in some cases even dysfunctional. I've seen this first hand.
THEN WE HAVE LONG BEACH CHURCH PLANTING. Long Beach is hot for church planters and God is using them, in fact, more church plants are needed in Long Beach, more good church plants at least. All the ones I've interacted with are great church plants, led by great men and teams. But they also deal with the same issues of space, budget, leadership development, getting flyers and invites out to Area 1, Area 2 trying to reach people with the Message of Jesus Christ.
Emergent is relatively new in Long Beach but there's a pulse mostly among these new church plants. If Emergent is missional, communal, relational, justice and mercy oriented, if Emergent is artistic, contemplative and honest, most of these new church plants have it.
But the problem is that for the most part, whether new or old, traditional, contemporary or emergent, most of our Long Beach churches still do their own thing. There are efforts such as Kingdom Causes that are trying to bring pastors together to pray and to allow for relationship, but more needs to be done.
WHAT I AM RECOMMENDING IS ALONG the lines of a united staff to lead multiple churches. A sharing of power, a non-traditional approach to leadership with four or five pastors together leading, shepherding, evangelizing and developing leaders for multiple churches together in community. Messy? Yes, but God can do the impossible and we need it.
The larger churches can do this by having two or three of their staff, say in my case, commit to developing the Arts in 4-5 churches for 6 months to a year. In the course of that time, my job would be to develop artistic leadership by modeling the values of worship, a devotional life, intimacy, community and transformation among artist, stuff that I believe in and have done in our own church. And from day one lead along side of a local, indigenous worship leader in training who will actually remain with the local church. The same can be done in preaching, discipleship, facilities, tech, small groups, spritual formation, children’s ministry, evangelism.
This assumes a few things of these New Kind of Pastors:
1. They are committed to a non-traditional approach to leadership
2. They are willing to trust one another
3. They are willing to share what they have
4. They are secure in their own gifts and role
The biggest obstacles to this New Kind of Church are:
1. Pride
2. Ego
3. Power
4. Control
5. Insecurity
6. Competition
7. Lack of Trust
With the struggles urban centers deal with all across the U.S. we need to attempt different church systems and leadership structures. I think this new approach can be used in most urban centers of our country and around the world. My guess is this is already being done in non-religious settings.
YOU LOOK AT THE CURRENT MULTI-SITE MODEL, or the old church planting center model, these systems require BUCKS, BUDGET AND SIZE and their main objective is to grow a BIGGER ME. A church plant of 200, a new church of 20-30, a traditional church of 40-50 cannot do this. Even medium size churches of 1000-2000 are hard pressed to go multi-site because they may lack the leadership structure to do this (in other words, they have not developed people to actually go), or they don't have the budget to buy 2-3 times over curriculum, leasing/rental fees, audio equipment, staff and more.
It's time for a Root System approach to church leadership versus the Tower of Babel traditional approach, where the bigger churches send, diversify their goods and services perhaps even liquify some of them to serve other churches, and this is not to just give them a fish, although I'm fine with that, but to develop local leadership and most of all to unite, to bring relationship and friendship among pastors, congregations and churches.
THIS IS NOT AN ASSOCIATION OR A DENOMINATION, this is a root system, a network, an alliance of churches, Emergent Leadership, led by a group of pastors committed to relationship, leadership, to Long Beach, humbly submitting to one another, can I say this again, humbly submitting to one another and committed to seeing the Kingdom of God expand in our city.
This model, like the current multi-site model, is something that not every can do or will buy into, but as the problems surrounding church growth continue, new kind of church systems must emerge.
Do you know anyone on your staff, leadership team or community that thinks this way?
THIS IS A SYSTEM I AM COMMITTED TO. This is what I already do and believe in. This could help churches expand the Kingdom of God in their own cities by bringing together staff and resources towards a common cause.
I want more than a bigger, better MY CHURCH. In fact, I'm not sure if bigger is even possible in Long Beach or most urban centers. I don't want to grow old doing what I do mostly for the benefit of MY CHURCH. And at least for me, I've dedicated myself by God's grace, to equipping and developing people that are ready, and if anything may be bored to death with the lack of missional, servant, relational ministry between churches. Isn’t it always awkward when someone in your church helps another church? Sort of like, hey, I thought you were committed to MY church.
IT'S TIME TO UNLEASH PEOPLE'S GIFTS in new ways, to give them a greater vision than for our own churches. It's time to ask those with the gift of giving for $5 million to fund these projects, it's time to talk to pastors of dying churches about renewing their vision. It's time to once again ask God for the impossible, things that will challenge our hearts and attitudes.
I am convinced that there is a generation of pastors both young and old, new and traditional that are ready for this. And although we all worry about budgets, salaries, how exactly will this work, etc. there is something inside of us saying, keep talking, this sounds right.
We need to give answers to the hard questions, to provide the details of how this will work. We’ll get there. I have three Long Beach pastors to whom I've spoken, and they feel God is in this, they are open to this conversation. Currently, we meet at my house. Seeing these young pastors from different churches in my backyard, talking, praying, sharing our struggles, our concerns, learning to be friends not competitors, is one of my greatest rewards. Now, it's time to organize and do something great that will cause Satan to run and allow for the presence of God to move in a powerful way in our beloved city of Long Beach.
Into the future,
davidT
Friday, August 26, 2005
What I Want
Welcome back. You are welcomed here.
Allen is onto something.
I've thought about it, do I really want to do this? and I've concluded I do. I want braids, a few tatoos and more piercings (I've got two).
I do. Will I do it? How, when, expense? The job, perceptions are all considerations. My wife is fine with most things (she's not sure about the braids). I can either do it all at once (my preference) or one thing at a time. Except for the ink, everything else can come off if needed. I don't know how often you have to get the braids redone. Anyone know?
Where do I want the ink and what? On the back of my arms and back, some sort of revolutionary with a rifle and guitar. I've got two friends ready to go in with me and get their own. Crazy friends.
Into the future,
davidT
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