Welcome back. You belong here.
Over the last 6 months, I have made some changes in my work habits that have reduced stress, increased my time with my wife, provided more focused time with our children and provide better boundaries between work and home.
1. Cancelled Texting. Completely shut it off. Not only is it off, I called AT&T and asked them to take it off my phone completely. This has given me more privacy, becoming available to people at work through email and cell but not texting. Texting was killing me, it was non-stop access to me 24hrs/day. No longer.
2. Close email App on days off. On my days off, I'll still blog and be online, but I don't open Apple Mail, Google Mail, nothing. This way I'm not tempted to send or read email, because once that happens you know what comes next, my mind is on work things, aways from my home or whatever other things I'm into at the time (resting, painting, exercising, reading, etc). This has been a hard thing to do, it took me about 2-3 weeks to detox, but I can say I'm now offline on my days off.
3. No email on Saturday nights. There's nothing worse than reading a nasty email the night before Sundays (at least for me as a pastor). Too many times I'll read an email, nasty or just asking for this and that and I'm off the deep end, working it, thinking, wanting to kill someone or myself. So on Saturday nights, I don't check my email. Instead, I focus on my own work for Sundays, reading, praying, late night prep at times, etc. But this is me time, God time, serving the Body time, versus distractions through email.
4. Daily focused time with my wife. Both of us are busy, she is a teacher I work at a church, we have three small children, life is hectic. But every day, most of the times at 7:30am, my wife and I talk for 20mns or so. We talk about our feelings, about our to do's. We'll ask questions such as "how are you feeling today?", "what do you want to talk about?", "what do you have to do today?". For my wife, on the days she works, it slows her down, giving her time to drink coffee while sitting down with me versus in the car, while on the phone with the babysitter, rushing to work. For me, it's focused time with my wife, to talk, to bear all, to be one. It's the best part of my day. Some couples call it "couch time", other's "coffee break," whatever it is, it's something we're doing and is bringing us closer than ever.
These things are simple, but if you're like me and have been addicted to email, texting, etc. etc. there's a price you're paying, and I was paying it. That glazed look while everyone's having dinner, that "aha, aha...." while my 6 year old is talking to me, or worse yet stewing over a work issue. Or just simply checking out during the night time routines - dinner, putting kids to bed, all the other little things that mean the most to my wife and our children, all because I am online, texting, answering emails when I should be focused on my soul and my home.
These changes have increased my "home focus" time by 5-6 hours/day, or 40-50%. No joke. I feel better, more focused, more relaxed, more balanced, more godly, more centered, and when Sunday comes I'm more ready to give it my best.
After all, I believe my soul, my wife and children, are still to be my #1 focus.
Have a great day.
Into the future,
davidT
