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I've been meaning to write this post for a while on communication in marriage and more specifically how what wife and I communicate.
Today was a perfect example. Our almost 8 year old had an allergic reaction to a cat and got a puffy eye. At the same time, our sister in law who just had a baby yesterday, called my wife needing some help as her three year old and two day old were doing what three year olds and two day olds normally do. So my wife called me to ask "I'd like to go help my sister, but our girl has a puffy eye, what shall we do?"
It was a great moment. During our daily "coffee time" where we talk in the mornings about life, our day, our feelings, etc. we had talked about working together on such moments.
So I recommended she come home and I could take care of our children and she go back to her sister's, but it's a long drive so she said she'd rather not. I then called back and recommended she go to her sister's with the children and I go pick them up so she could stay there, she said she'd rather come home being that her other sister was on her way to help with baby Sam.
I then recommended after she come home and we do the night time routine (our little ones need to be in bed by 8pm tonight!), she go back and join her sister for an impromptu "late night sister's night". That sounded like a great idea to her. It was a great moment.
This is simple, daily life stuff, nothing earth shattering. But with so many emotions in the picture, family needs and two sets of expectations, these moments can easily become a tug-of-war, a "what's more important?" our children or her baby? struggle. (And trust me, I can be a butt in those situations).
But instead we chose to communicate and work together. And it was all a result of trust in our marriage and daily, constant communication. That 2-3 minute phone conversation was a result of my wife calling to check in with me, asking for my advice which makes me feel respected and valued, and I responded in kind by offering to help and supporting her in her desire to help our sister in law.
Right now, our 8 year old is doing better, I just helped her get ready for bed. My wife is getting dinner ready, and I'm helping set-up 30mns or so of the "Polar Express". Normal stuff, normal life, but a strong commitment to communication and leaning on each other, working as one.
This is one of the things I love most about our marriage.
Have a great day.
Into the future,
davidT
