Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Nothing Interesting



Welcome back. You belong here.

SAMPLE IMAGES: #1 Recent bleeding (subdural hematoma) in an injured patient is seen as a bright mass that is pushing the brain to the other side. #2 CT-scan equipment. #3 Normal brain scan (not my own).

My doctor Dr. Nath called me today and he said the CT-scan was normal, "nothing interesting" were his actual words. No tumor, no bleed, no swelling, nothing of interest. Wow.

I feel so relieved, thankful to God in Heaven and to all who are praying for me. I feel 10lbs. lighter, I actually got the phone call while at counseling. My counselor Laura was happy together with me. My doctor, who is younger than me, has been with me since my father's death 5 years ago. He's seen me through anti-depressants, colonoscopy, anxiety, panick attacks, TMJ, ultrasounds, concussions and now these exams, he's like a friend.

So what's wrong? Why do I feel dizzy? My doctor said it's my concussion, that it takes time, that I have to partition my time. If I push one day, the next I should rest. He said he understands I need to push to get better, but to rest. He said, "You have a concussion man, rest, partition your time..."

At least I know it's not my eyes, my eyes are fine, it's not my brain, it's basically down to the anxiety and stress of grieving my abuelita's death 1 year ago and my body feeling that through all kinds of symptoms. What's at the root of these emotions, this grieving and anxiety? My counselor and I are working that through on Wed. nights.

I'm so relieved there's nothing physically wrong or life threatening. Wow.

The journey now moves from physical issues to emotional. The root of my symptoms once again is emotional and dealing with the major issues in my life - death, loss, mortality, greatness.

At the end of my session tonight, after crying, talking to my doctor, finding out I'm physically OK, I told Laura my counselor, "one more thing you should now...as I deal with these issues and the dark side of my soul, I know one thing...I was created for greatness." She smiled and said she can't wait to talk more about that. Me too.

Have a great day.

Into the future,

davidT