Relationship Goo and Coming Out of My Super Hero Eggshell

Welcome back. You belong here.

I need to become more Emotionally balanced
Counseling – I’m a good candidate for long term counseling (said Laura, my counselor after 8 weeks of therapy). I agree.
The safety net was gone at 12yrs old, came to abuelita who caught me, she was my other safety net, but now that’s also gone. Now it’s just me (and Jesus and the Body) and the courage to have God lead me forward and to the vision He has given me
To lead my wife and children
I don’t want to get stuck in emotional goo

Emotional goo keeps me from doing God’s work
Relational goo is not always bad, but sometimes it paralyses me
I will not lose my heart for God, my wife, and our children in the process of becoming more focused and courageous
The cost will NOT be my heart, Jesus nor my wife or family
The cost may be relationship, separation anxiety

But that cost is no cost at all, the real cost is in NOT doing what God tells me to do
Things are eventually better when you do what’s right in God’s eyes, although relationships may change
For example – My relationship with staff, with my wife and children are all changing this year. WOW!!
I am moving from adolescent goo, "I need you, you’re my mother and father, hold me, kiss me, love me", to passion, purpose, intentionality and CORE
I will always need those things, but I'm becoming more aware of their negative effects and where they came from (see Nicaragua childhood)
MY CORE IS – The Gospel, God’s Glory, Evangelism, Worship, the Arts, the Word, my wife and children, my family in Nicaragua

I want to lead our children from this CORE not from relational goo
I want to lead with vision and purpose, not relational goo
Goo and relationship sustain vision not the other way around, Vision is 1st.
Vision comes from sitting on the porch with God late at night, talking, listening to His voice

I am coming out of the Super-hero eggshell
Inside of me, there is a Super-Hero
I am making better choices these days
This is a season of SWINGING BRIDGES for our church and my personal life
In other words, I haven't landed, we're on the bridge, it's swinging back and forth, it's uncertain, but we're in it together and it's taking us to the other side, to the landing

I am looking for the landing
I am getting ready to land
This BRIDGE may last 1-2 years
The landing will be my life for the next 10-20 years
I am learning to be more courageous and take the risk to be TRUE to God's call on my life
Yet, that process requires more FALLING APART, in other words, being true to my pain, aches, sadness, hurt
But that hurt leads me somewhere, it’s not the end
I’m discovering my heart for evangelism once again, for postmoderns in LB

My wife and I are doing 40 Days of Discovery – ends Sun June 4th, 2006, to discover God and His will for our lives
During my wife’s recent illness - I became the GLADIATOR, I had been the poet and priest but I became the hairy chest, sword in hand, come on I’ll lead us through the mud babe, machete in hand kind of guy
I became EL ZORRO!
I am great at being a priest and poet
I do that well and it's very important, like Job, and Moses and David
But they were also GLADIATORS, I am becoming both

My challenge is to not hang on to the past but to lead forward
My challenge is to lead versus hanging on to relational goo and shrink back
My opportunity is to lead with passion, love and clarity

The future is NOT clear, the future is God and His vision
I don’t know the future as a futurist as in man-centered future.
My future is prayer, faith, vision from God, from listening to His heart, from the burden in my heart, like Nehemiah, like Paul, like Solomon asking for wisdom

This is like adding a second story to my house which we did 2 years ago.
I have to strengthen the exisiting foundation and add parts of a new one
So I can build up and grow up
It's expensive, dirty, lengthy, a huge mess!
But now we have a 2-story house
It was all worth it
We use it to live life and share it with others

And my holiness has to increase
My wording while leading has to go up
My language has to go up
My schedule focus has to go up
My love has to go up
My prayer dependency has to go up
My budget
My down time

My vacation
My annual planning
My rest and fun
My exercise and eating well
My speaking out against sin, selfishness

My education and training has to increase
My simplicity has to increase
My musical skills have to increase
My relationships have to increase
My asking for help has to go up
My being honest about my weaknesses has to increase
My reading has to increase
My time with Rachelle has to increase

Jesus has to increase
Jesus
Jesus
Jesus has to increase
Jesus has to go up
Holy Spirit has to increase
Father has to increase
More of Jesus
Less of me

That makes sense now...I get it!

Some things have to GO
Wasting time may have to go
Sitting around on the computer may have to go
Emotional overload may have to go
Sin has to go
Out of control schedule has to go

For the sake of growing up and becoming more mature in Christ
For the sake of my wife
For the sake of our children, 7, 4 and 2
For the sake of my joy
For the sake of the harvest and the Kingdom of God until I die or He returns

What about you? What's your goo and egg shell? What's the super hero inside of you look like? What has to increase, what has to go?

Have a great day.

Into the future,

davidT

What do You Cry About?

Welcome back. You belong here.

I am often amazed how much I learn about my leaders just by going to their work place, their home, seeing their car (ouch!). Most of the time, we spend time with leaders in a controlled environment, staff meetings, rehearsal room, church. And most of the time it's an environment we control.

Last week I visited Russell's job. He is a civil engineer and works on Auto-CAD most of the day. In the arts, he does media work for us as well as arranging details for our parks and off campus events, he plays bass, plays in one of our bands and is a good friend.

Russell dreams about running sound, doing podcasts, doing his job well, being a good dad (he has four children 7 and under). He cries about...actually I'm not sure what he cries about, I need to ask him that next time.

I dream about: An urban church in Long Beach.
I cry about: Selfishness and self-centeredness. My own as well as others.

There are a few questions Leadership Wired recommends we ask when getting to know our people.

1. "What do you dream about?

A person's dreams are powerful revealers of passion. When a person starts to talk about their dreams it's as if something bubbles up from within. Their eyes brighten, their face glows, and you can feel the excitement in their words.

2. What do you cry about?

Passion can be uncovered by peering into the hurts deep inside a human soul. The experience of pain or loss can be a formidably motivating force. When listening to a story of grief, you hear a voice thick with emotion, you see watery eyes flooded with feeling, and in that moment you glimpse the intense connections between a person's deepest pain and their greatest passion."

Have a great day.

Into the future,

davidT

What Would Jesus Direct?

Welcome back. You belong here.

What would Jesus direct in Hollywood? Remember "The Passion of the Christ"?. And now comes "The DaVinci Code." I still don't get those Christians who are 'boycotting' the movie.

This is a great conversation for our actors to discuss.

So What Would Jesus Direct? :

"MR. FLAHERTY: Nothing's more transformational in human existence than faith. So no matter what story you are telling, you want to make sure that is a part of the story that's represented. I think that one of the more powerful films that will come out this year is the Oliver Stone movie WORLD TRADE CENTER. It's about two New York City cops, and they were stuck in a hole -- one for 12 hours, one for 24 hours -- and about the amazing things that happen in terms of when they were praying down there, their families that were praying for them, a gentleman in Connecticut who was in church who said that he felt like he was being called to the World Trade Center and eventually rescued these guys. I think too often we forget how mystical and magical our faith is, and I think we're really starting to recapture that.

Mr. WINTER: Movies get made for a lot of reasons, and this festival celebrates filmmakers who want to make movies and want to make statements and show their art, and it doesn't matter. They don't care how people react. That's great. Studios make movies because they want to make money, because it's corporate America, and because of the spreadsheets, and so it is a 'flavor of the week' kind of business and it is 'How can we get this movie to the widest possible audience?'

LAWTON: Going back to the title of this panel, which is 'What Would Jesus Direct?', what is Jesus's next big project?

Mr. BOCK: I think the question can't just be what would Jesus direct. I think it's got to be what would Jesus direct and what would Paramount distribute, because, look, film is a collaborative process. It requires a lot of money. It requires literally hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of people. You guys have all watched the credits. There's this playoff between what filmmakers want to make and what a studio wants to make as well."

Have a great day.

Into the future,

davidT

The Weight of Influence

Welcome back. You belong here.

With influence comes responsibility. You won't gain greater influence unless you're responsible on the current things. "faithful in the small things, put over greater things" is the law. As my responsibilities in the worship arts move from one worship service to three in the next 6-12 months, I am challenged to grow in my leadership.

As influence grows, I have to grow with it. I am challenged to be the man God has called me to be. The greater the vision, the greater the responsibility.

The other thing I'm challenged is in the focus of my leadership. In the worship arts I could focus artists on very accepted things in the church today:

1. Performance
2. Excellence
3. Media
4. Excitement
5. Buzz
6. Numbers
7. Church Growth
8. Relevance
9. Style

You name it, churches do it, including ours. And those things aren't bad, it's part of the worship arts machine. But at the CORE, what I am about are not those things.

At my core is an authentic life in Christ, a genuine relationship with Jesus that is current, which first changes me and then others. And at the core, core you know what I bleed for? Reaching lost people with the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And at the core, core, core what is there? The Glory of God.

So you can layer my CORE VALUES as follows:
CORE, CORE, CORE - the Glory of God
CORE, CORE - The Gospel of Jesus Christ
CORE - A life in Christ

This is what I hope to be, this is what will influence others. I need others to pray for me as I seek to become this man to my wife, children and the Body.

Have a great day.

Into the future,

davidT

What's Your Communication Language?

Welcome back. You belong here.

Leadership is about communication. No matter what type of communication - home, work, fun, music, friendships, communication is something we all have to do.

So how to communicate with others in today's culture? Note: Most of these comments may be applicable primarily to the U.S. and other developed countries. Other places may be limited in their forms of communication, although the rest of the world is quickly catching up.

Before email, text messaging and cell phones our options were letters, phone calls (land lines or pay phones, remember those?), beepers, and visiting one another's homes (wow, where did that go?). And that's only going back 10 years or so.

Today, most of my leaders resort primarily to email. The problem with that is that when Andrea emails Dean, but Dean is not an email guy, he's a cell phone kind of guy, they miss each other. Sometimes Jack calls my work line, (i'm a cell phone and email guy) and it takes me days to get to my work phone and we miss each other. In the mean time Daniel texts me at 10pm about an important meeting tomorrow at the Coffee Bean at 9:30am and I email him back because I don't want to spend the extra cost on texting. But he didn't check his email in time so he wonders if I'm showing up or not.

Sometimes people use email with those they are not close to or comfortable with. Others may use text with their close friends but not with mom and dad. Sometimes the way you communicate with someone depends on the purpose of the interaction and the relationship you have with that person.

With your boss, you may write a letter or formal email, with your best friend you might text or call them on their cell phone. If you want the news to be processed first and you are afraid of a quick response, you might email. If you are not a confrontational person or the other person scares you, you might email them instead of calling.

The important thing in all this is to know your people's 'communication language'. As in 'love languages' people receive and express commmunication in a particular way.

My communication language is the cell phone, just call me. I love talking to people on the cell phone (hands free please!). Face to face is #2. I'm a relational kind of guy.

So the Main 6 Communication Languages are:
1. Email
2. Cell phone
3. Home or work phone
4. Text message
5. Face to face
6. Blogs and web based forms (myspace.com, etc.)

Some people (especially Boomers), still use letters, office memos, copying files to a CD, etc. The other day, a Boomer friend of mine gave me a CD with one word doc in it. I thought, wow, that's ancient. And again, based upon the nature of your conversation and relationship, you may have to write a letter.

My advice is, know your own particular communication language and most of all know your people's, friends, etc. communication language. Communicate with them in a way they understand. Otherwise, you may never hear back from them.

Have a great day.

Into the future,

davidT

Wise Decision

Welcome back. You belong here.

Wisdom says I should finish my Talbot paper, do laundry and pick up our children at school. What I want to be doing is support the L.A. Immigration rallies.

I am staying home, watching it on TV. I think that's the wisest decision today.

This is a very important issue for me, I have been an immigrant in this country my whole life, became a U.S. Citizen last month, and will never forget the path that got me here. I support Bush's immigration plan.

Wherever your stance, let's seek unity and understanding, especially as followers of Jesus, we need to know the issues and seek a resolution. Don't divide, unite.

KEY POINTS OF THE BUSH IMMIGRATION PROPOSAL

• Workers in the United States illegally join a temporary labor program.

• Those now-illegal immigrants then can apply for permanent residence but get no preferential consideration.

• Employers hiring these workers must show they cannot find U.S. laborers to fill their jobs.

• These undocumented workers get guaranteed wage and employment rights.

• These workers receive a temporary three-year visa, renewable once. They are expected to return to their countries of birth once their visas expire.

• Congress is urged to increase current annual limit of 140,000 "Green Cards.".

• The Department of Homeland Security is to administer the program.

Have a great day.

Into the future,

davidT