This will be short. I feel challenged. Challenged to shake this dust off of worry and fear and focus on God. Yes, times are tough, insurance will run out, our savings will dwindle, but where is my faith? Climbing the mountain is not easy.
I don't know what this all means, I'm not saying I'm healed of fear and worry (I want to be), but over the last few days, I've been challenged to stop focusing on myself and instead focus on God.
These last four weeks have brought out all my weaknesses. I'm fearful, anxious, I worry too much, I lack faith. God loves me so much He's making me face my weaknesses while lovingly helping me, giving me an amazing wife that supports me and speaks into my life as well as great friends. Wow, I've really struggled, but I want to change.
What did I expect leaving the comfort and security of a full time job to follow Jesus, roses? It has been tough, it might get worst before it gets better, but God is in this thing. He has called us to start a church, to serve our neighbors and the world, to love the poor, to be in relationship with people who need Jesus.
And he's already showing his faithfulness. Just over the last few days we've had gift cards, prayers, visions and dreams, emails, words of encouragement, small contributions that have given me perspective.
God says "If you being evil, give good gifts to your children, how much more will I?
God says "For your Father in heaven knows what you need even before you ask"
Truth be told, I've never had to trust God financially and I'm kicking and screaming trying not to this time. But God is saying "Ok, you don't want to trust me? I'll let you fall flat on your face first" and then he says "now watch what I can do with a heart that is surrendered to me". Watch.
I believe God will take care of our finances, insurance, our children. I believe God will help us build this little community called a Neighbors Abbey. I believe God will provide a community job where I can impact our neighbors.
I believe God will lead us to where he wants us to be. I believe this is preparation (like Paul and Ananias) for our future. I'm convinced that our "poverty" and these 7 lean years are so I can relate to people in need.
When will help come? I have no idea. When will we have what we need? No clue. But we do know a few things:
1. We are called and are to obey God
2. God is faithful
3. It will be hard
The challenge: What will I focus on? My circumstances or Our Great God? Today, I choose God.
Thoughts?
