Friday, April 25, 2008

When I look at the Pictures

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When I look at the pictures
Of rock stars and wanna be's
I can almost believe
I can be
I can be

But I know better
I know better
I'm me

When I watch the videos on You Tube
And see the guitars glitter
In the ambers and reds
As the crowd grows wild
I can almost believe
I can be just like them

But I know better now
I know better
I'm me

Me is what I am
Not what I see on TV
Me is not that bad
It's actually pretty good

If I put the pursuit down
To follow what's on TV
And instead embrace the real me
What would be of my life?

It would be priceless
It would be filled with rightness

To pretend I'm all that I do
Is not that fun anymore
It drives me away from truth
It keeps me from being in the flow

I want to be me
I want to be free
Release me from the theater
Of acting on a stage

Instead I want to say hello
And talk and listen
And feel completely scared
But knowing I am me
Knowing I am free
From the old me
Into the new me

Have a great day,

Into the future,

davidT

Friday, April 18, 2008

While There's Still Time

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New job, new city.
Overwhelming, always something to do
A person to call, a vision on a napkin
A meeting to have, don't forget to talk to the boss

And my life at home
What matters most
Waits, listening to the conversation in the car
It goes something like this
"Today was a long day
Today was overwhelming
Today I met with the boss"

And they read books
And stare out the window
Every time we cross a railroad track
Our little boy says, "Mom, mom, you look that way
I'll look this way"
Lots of trains around here

Time passes so quickly

Our girl is sad her older sister no longer sleeps in the same room
Tears each night of how hard it is to be alone
The older sister is glad to be on her own
She pushes to grow up
She pushes forward
Life moves forward
We stay behind

Time passes so quickly

While there's still time
I will look left and right at the railroad track
While there's still time
I will sleep in our girls room once in a while so she won't feel alone
While there's still time I will be proud that our eldest is growing up
And kicking a soccer ball in the backyard with her new friend from across the street

Time passes so quickly

While there's still time I will help our little boy clean up his room
While there's still time we will go on another bike ride by the creek
While there's still time we will clean the tree house and paint our names on it
While there's still time I will record their voices in my mind

Yesterday I met a man who plays guitar and sings songs to God
I heard a recording of his two young daughters playing piano as he played along
One played the low keys, the other the highs

This man told me
That he has a cyst in his brain
That he had a seizure two weeks ago
This man is young

He told me of his dream
To one day see his young girls grow up
And play this song for them
Of them playing along
High keys, low keys
While he sat at the piano playing along

While there's still time
While there's still time
While there's still time
I will play along

Have a great day,

Into the future,

davidT

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Crowder Goes to Mexico

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Have a great day,

Into the future,

davidT

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Crowder in Colorado

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Have a great day,

Into the future,

davidT

Thursday, March 27, 2008

What Am I Doing?






Welcome back. You belong here.

What have I been doing lately?
1. 1st time ice skating (I tell you, these Coloradians, they love their hockey!)
2. My new stage, Easter look called "Radiance" stars, stars, stars
3. Easter egg hunt (nice sunny day, dry)
4. Good Friday (Surrender Room)

Have a great day,

Into the future,

davidT

Saturday, March 08, 2008

If This World Could Only Change

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If you would never leave me
If these chains would not pertain
To this fragile mind, to the fear inside my head

Then my life would be so great
But share with you again and then
I would become the man you want
You want me right?

Don’t leave me, don’t leave me
You’ve never left
You know I can’t go on without you
I can’t make it without you
Don’t leave me
In this place
Don’t leave this man
In this lonely place

If I would only stay right here
And not go back to that place
Of fear and worry, of anxious not's
Not strong enough, not sure enough, not anyone

To see the canyon below
This crazy thought is trying to show
That life is bigger than my little head
My little head, is filled with big thoughts

Have a great day,

Into the future,

davidT

New Things

Welcome back. You belong here.

Hot AND cold water to brush my teeth
Rolling down the window, honk the horn
Talk to the driver next to me
In the middle of a minor blizzard to ask for directions

Special squeegee for snow
Frozen driveway
It takes longer to get in and out

We’re tired by 7pm
Working hard to think about everything
We don’t want to take our coats and hats off
It takes too long to put them on!

How do we get to church?
64th doesn’t go through to Wadsworth
70 Saturday, 40 Sunday and snow

Yes but…

Fun to play in the snow for children
Bike ride in cul-de-sac on a sunny day
New house is amazing
Terry’s gift of grace

Gary and Cindy’s kindness
Canela said, very organized house!
Canela – I’m an artist, I like to read and I play the piano
Did my first CO snow angel
Snow is so quiet and beautiful
Mountains seem blue and white

Have a great day,

Into the future,

davidT

It's Not Going to Fall Apart

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The story goes on
Just before it starts
And already I’m thinking it can’t be
When it appears to be

It’s so easy to lose your sight
When there’s a log in your mind
What I long to see is right in front of me
But all I hear is what the voices tells me at night

It’s going to fall apart
It’s never going to last
Ignore it all, forget it all
It’s going to fall apart

I fight to stay awake
To the dreams I have received
My life is beginning again
Anything can happen, anything can happen

It's not going to fall apart
This time it'll be different
It's not going to fall apart
The house of cards is built on strength

Have a great day,

Into the future,

davidT

Friday, March 07, 2008

Down the Street

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Down the street there is a family, they have three children. Our little boy rode bikes together with them this morning (nice sunny day) and so I joined in on my bike as well. Not a family I would normally hang out with, but trying to break through my stereotypes.

Things that are different here:

1. Colorado Tan (store down the street)...is there such a thing as a Colorado Tan?
2. Cold all day long (25F). Yes, it's also sunny and we like that, but I'm getting tired of putting jackets on/off/on/off/on/off. I'm thinking of just sleeping in my jacket tonight.
3. Churches everywhere. Wow, I counted about 20 from school to home today. Some even meet inside other churches. My friend told me that "even the snow is Christian in Colorado", maybe he's right.
4. Making a difference. There are plenty of people here that have no faith, no sense of God. I met many of them at the YMCA this morning while working out, at the Juice Stop, at Big 5, children's school, at Office Max. Both Rachelle and I have had many opps to talk about God and serve people.

One example was Rosa at the children's school EL Foster, a bilingual inner city school. She spoke no English and was trying to register her boy in preK. Rachelle busted our here Spanish skills to Rosa's huge surprise and helped her out, we hung out in the parking lot for 10-15mns. Good stuff.

So far, this has been an amazing experience for us all. Lots of grace, lots of redemption, lots of dreams coming true. It's almost too good to be true. I want to blow it all up and self-inflict pain.

Today a friend told me, "don't dump on your own parade, it'll soon dump plenty on you without your help." After being in a blowing up mode for the last few years, it's hard to accept grace. Jonah (Jonah 4) had a hard time with it as well, remember the worm? I am that worm, just want to eat a good thing away and destroy it instead of enjoying it.

Better go and just enjoy this beautiful day.

Have a great day,

Into the future,

davidT

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

It Happened Around 1:30pm

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So it happened around 1:30pm on the first day of our move to Colorado. It hit me as our four year old broke down in tears, seat belt on, his little Cars shoes on, wearing his “cool pants”, surrounded by what seemed to be our whole garage in the back of our Volvo Wagon saying, “I want to go home.”

And so I broke down. What little David sees in his head as “home” will never be. What he feels in his mind as the comfort of his room, the sound of his fan as he sleeps and the peace of his family in the kitchen will never be.

We are moving to Colorado. We are not going back home. Everyone misses their house.

It hit me even more as our nine year old who sat next to David also began to cry as I imagined her saying, “I know David, I also want to go home, I’m sorry David.”

We’re all just tired from what little David called, “driving for ten days.” Yes, driving from Long Beach, CA to Denver, CO feels like ten days. And being up since 4am on three hours of sleep doesn’t’ help either.

Things are better now. M&M’s and naps seem to help everyone. It is true we will not be going home any time soon, but what awaits us will soon become home again.

There may be more tears along the way, more arid Arizona mountains and more hours left in the car. But I have a feeling that just like sweets and naps have a way to help things through, Colorado and our new life will too.

Have a great day,

Into the future,

davidT

Monday, February 25, 2008

Theme Verse Dec-Feb

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We've been "lacking wisdom" just about every day lately. So James 1 has helped us through:

5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6 But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

Have a great day,

Into the future,

davidT

Thursday, February 21, 2008

On Simplicity

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Simplicity deals with, well, I'm actually not sure how to word it because it's not an easy thing to describe.

There's a lady at school, here name is Anne who is simple. She wears older clothes, not fashionable, she would come with her baby in a sling, a hammock like pack.

Anne compresses her trash, she burns it in the back yard, she wears no makeup, she is a very simple person. She is not poor, she is not better than thou telling everyone how her "faith" is better than your faith. In fact, she has me "believing in her religion" just by her actions.

Her daughter and our daughter Isabela are friends, they are both in first grade. She is amazing, the girls are having a sleep over here this weekend.

Anne lives simply, no traps.

Simplicity can easily turn to ascetism, the despise of all material things which is not what Jesus taught. We are to enjoy a good beer, a nice haircut, a great piece of furniture. That's part of God's gifts to us.

For me, a simple life choice I've made is to turn off the data plan and text feature on my phone. The phone I have is complicated and trinketty enough as it is! My compulsion is checking email and being connected all day long. So a few months ago I called AT&T and asked them to turn off my data plan, which cuts down $20 off my bill, another choice towards simplicity. I feel FREE.

The other day, the data plan was back on. So for the last few days I've been compulsively checking email at the stop light, the library, the post office. It's horrible. I called the phone company again and they said the data plan is off on their records, I'm not being charged, it's just a tech error. So it's still on. I hate it, I don't know what to do. I am going to try to turn off the data feature on the phone and see if that works.

Simplify, declutter, degadgetize.

There are so many other aspects of simplicity - fast on blogging, computer time, focusing on creation, not shopping at Wal-Mart for their unjust work practices, etc.

One of the other choices we've made as a family is to go put our children at an elementary school in a "poor part of town". People ask me all the time, why not put them in the fancy, "best schools"? I said, I want to live differently, and make a difference in the lives of our children and others.

Have a great day,

Into the future,

davidT

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

How to Begin

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The tension between starting and ending seems like a swinging bridge
It tilts forward and backwards, not knowing which way to swing
The hope of a new beginning, mixed with the sorrow of broken promises
The anticipation of a great start and the ability to move as one

People that serve and lead and love and learn
Those are people to die for and dream with for the rest of your life

To not put on a thing called church
But to hang out with people in my living room
Worshiping God
Reading the Scriptures
Praying for one another in authentic community
We call it "family council"

And every day talking to people without Jesus
To Robert the mail man
Who has 100's of illegal DVD's and war stories to tell
It's what he does to pass his time
He needs something more

To Gil the real estate guy who came by my house
Big smile, firm handshake
His face all over my neighborhood store

He sat in my living room
Would never set foot in my cool church
We spoke of homes, moving and faith
It felt like the most genuine church I've had in years

To not fight wars of old
But to go to a hilltop and be transformed
By authentic relationships
With a few guys that love one another
Over beers and smokes, sin and grace
Theology and cheesy 80's music
That's what transforms

I've tasted of that sweet wine and had plenty of drink from that wonderful spout
It's transformed me
It's forever changed me

I have been transformed by church maybe once or twice in my life
Church doesn't transform, Jesus does
Jesus, relationship, authenticity
People that live differently than I do
I love Jesus but not the church
But if the church could only change....Can it?

To hang out with people that challenge me to serve the poor
(I don't need to amass more stuff)
To go to Africa, Latin American and serve the poor, the children
Is what transforms

To do beautiful music, to write passionate lyrics
With a close group of friends
To create and dream, to paint and see beauty
To inspire others and push the boundaries
To dream and inspire, to live in the ideal of beauty and truth

To recyle, eat healthy and save the earth
To work for a great tomorrow and a happy ending to our planet
With my wife and children living passionate lives
To create experiences together with them
To live from their air
To breathe into them

To see young people believe
To help them see that God forgives
To help them see the value of discipline and hard work
To hear their dreams to change the world
And actually see them do it
And to come along

That's what transforms
That's what I am here to do
On this earth
Until I see you face to face
It's Jesus in me
The Spirit in me
The Father in me

Have a great day,

Into the future,

davidT

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Why Do I Wait?

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Why do I wait for a song to come after these sad moments?
Sometimes, the moment is but that, something you feel and it goes away
The stress of it all, it overwhelms me
I battle between the ok and the it's not ok
When nothing gets done, every room is undone
Every corner seems endless, nothing feels settled

And that moment is nothing special
It's just that, a moment of feeling like you can't keep up with it all
And in fact you can't
But then, you do

I just want to finish something
A room to be complete
A project to be done
I wish I had 10 hands and 2 heads
Maybe I do

It'll get done
Not sure how
Not sure when or who
And tomorrow more gets on the list
More new things
I want the list to go away
I don't want to see it ever again

To trust, to pray, to stress out
All are mixed into one

Wait, here it comes again

Have a great day,

Into the future,

davidT

Thursday, February 07, 2008

Letters to the Zanders

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How many of us church people have been influenced by Dieter Zander? I have. From New Song Church to Willow Creek, Axis, Young Leader Network, BayMarin Church, ReIMAGINE, leading worship, books, tapes, etc.

Dieter had a heart attack a few weeks ago and is in recovery. Updates at Dieter Zander Update

Have a great day,

Into the future,

davidT