My Life as an Artist

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The other day someone asked me if it's tough doing things differently. I said, in some ways yes and other ways things are new.

Some things have been different, not as I'm used to. But other things I've wanted to see grow are happening more quickly. I have more of my artisans involved in secular music than before. Maybe 10-12 of the team I work with are involved in music all over town, from Denver to Boulder and everything in between. No one playing at Red Rocks just yet, but there's an indie type music feel that is here.

For example, there's a band one of our percussionists is in called Mestizo Rocks. Very nice eclectic rhythmic music. Mark sings and plays percussion. So that's something pretty exciting for me.

There are also a lot of missional artisans involved in multiple ways across town. One of our bass players leads a band that plays at the Race for Cure in Denver. They play classic rock and roll while people run the 5K, marathon, etc. Others from different organizations pass out water bottles just to serve the community. Great stuff.

Another one of our young leaders is opening her own graphic design business tonight at 8pm. She's renting a gallery in downtown Denver with her friend. Another one of our leaders is doing a film festival, another one of our drummers does a drum collective which is like a clinic for young drummers all around town that brings in big drummers all year long.

Another guy is the general manager for a theatre in downtown Denver, and then we have 4-5 young worship leader types that are recording their 2nd or 3rd cd's, playing at coffee shops, etc. Another one of our guitar players is an architect involved in local missional work wit his company, has been to Nicaragua to build an orphanage, etc. Lots of good stuff like that.

So the challenge is helping the church worship, and connect the dots between the arts and God. That's a weekly task. The other task is to help people be more connected to one another and find a home, because even though they all have some connection here, they don't all feel connected here.

There are many opportunities. My hope is that I can get through the initial shock of being here, of learning a new church and culture, of working through all the internal changes within me, just trying to workout regularly again (moving is depressing), so that I can get to the fun part of the job.

The church also has around 80-90 acres of land here in Arvada, CO that it may sell or develop. The vision that is coming is to ask God for ways to use that capital to invest into Denver, into artisans, to help the poor, the serve the kingdom of God worldwide. Sometimes, I'm in meetings deciding over these things, being asked for my input and I feel humbled. I ask God for wisdom daily.

I also have a group of my two staff worship interns with whom I have a spiritual formation group. Last week we read Thomas a Kempis regarding temptation. It was uncomfortable, but I felt so thankful to be doing such work with two young lives (22 and 30) building into each other, seeking God together while leading this work.

Then the lead pastor here is a man I admire and love more each day. He is the reason God drew me all the way here. I hope to be like him more and more in all he does, from seeing his daughter be married last month, to water rafting, to leading the church from attraction to mission. I admire him and feel honored to serve under him.

If I can just figure out Boomers, and find my nitch of young leaders and be more about the city than the church, and the snow thing, I think I can do this and have a great time doing it.

And of course, someday I hope to do my music. To record an album with a great group of friends and make some great stuff together. I'm not writing much these days, not a lot of inspiration, work is hard, but I know that will come in time.

And if I can just develop 2-3 deep friendships that will carry me during my time here, again, I think I can do this. And if I can just workout again and get my body back, I think I can do this. And if our children and my wife can survive the move, I think I can do this.

Well, I think that's all the things I'm working on these days....all while trying to be more humble before God, seek Him more and become more of a giving person.

I've done some amazing things in my time, especially in music, and right now I'm not doing those things yet, but I feel all that will come and things can be even more full than before.

Have a great day,

Into the future,

davidT

Mowing the Lawn as a Sign

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It seems like everyday someone in our new neighborhood is mowing the lawn. I think it's because most of the people that live in our neighborhood are old (late Boomers with teenage kids) and/or retired. I mean, every day someone (men and women) is fixing their yard, mowing the lawn, planting trees, weeding, seeding, 7am, 6pm, 2pm no matter the time of day, it's non stop.

When we first moved in, it took me about 3-4 weeks to mow my lawn so it got long and "not as well kept" as the neighbors around here. Hey, moving is stressful and tiring! So guess what I got in the mail the next day? A ticket for not mowing my lawn! I called the city or Arvada, CO and they told me someone in my neighborhood (anonymous of course, else I would have had a little talk with them) ratted me in. Amazing. Even right now, my 50 year old retired neighbor is out there with his blower working away.

It's just not what I'm going to spend my time doing around here. I bet I'm going to get another ticket someday...

Side note: There's something here (literally in our back yard) called cotton wood (new to me). The allergies from that tree are killing me.

Have a great day,

Into the future,

davidT

Such Kindness

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Always amazed by kindness
Tonight I experienced it
Him over there, wow, such kindness and humility
A lot of great feelings all around
Great people

Others, yeah not so sure
But most are just wonderful
Willing to give all they have
For the sake of God's kingdom

Have a great day,

Into the future,

davidT

I Feel Handicapped

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I feel handicapped
My mind wants to enjoy and live
To work hard and live fully
But something inside my heart is weak
Something that makes me feel handicapped

My mind is weak, my body is not right
I wish to be a machine without any weaknesses
When will I be completely strong
When will I be perfect
Not gonna happen
This is who I am

A moment of life came to me
Right in between these sad thoughts
And I took action and led the way
Lived and engaged the moment before me
One small push and the little birds flew
Without my help, they were ready to fly

My face and their faces were filled with smiles
As my heart raced once again with something inside
A mixture of joy and concern
My heart aches like a spike in my flesh
My eyes clouded with questions, what is going on?

I know it's my friends
They're always around me
Why don't they ever leave?
How great would it be if they would never come back

But they're here to stay

My hands are weak
My heart is weak
Anxiety comes like a ghost, unannounced
It just hits me like a ton of bricks
So much going on
My mind can't handle it all

I trust and look up
There is a God I know
I lift my eyes up to the mountains
And ride my bike
All day long

Have a great day,

Into the future,

davidT

Three Months Later

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We arrived here March 1st and it's now June 1st (or so). Random thoughts three months into our time in Colorado:
1. This week I've had more moments where I've said "I might be here for a loooong time"
2. Music and creativity in the church takes patience, self-denial and lots of relationships
3. Some people have to go
4. Others you can't imagine ever losing
5. I want to own and manage a club/coffee/music/arts venue in Old Town Arvada
6. There are a lot of beautiful parks here in CO, today we played at one 1 block from our house the size of El Dorado Park back in the LBC, we had a great time playing fútbol, racing, freezbe, the children were racing down a hill on their red-wagon
7. It's really hot today (90F), first time we've been hot in CO, more to come I hear
8. R' and I are having a great time supporting each other through all the changes
9. I have some amazing musicians I'm working with on Sundays
10. I'm playing drums in a punk/emo band on Friday nights in someone's basement, starts at 9pm
11. We got a ticket the other day for not "mowing our lawn" sucks!
12. I like the sound of the trains
13. I actually want to go fishing, ATV'ing and horse back riding (crazy for this city boy!)
14. I hate country music (still)
15. I can't wait to go to our first Rockies-Dodgers game and wear all our Dodgers gear (all five of us)

Some days we cry, some days we laugh, three months in, it's getting better. The children miss their home, their friends, we keep making new memories here in CO one day at a time. Today at the park was another beginning.

Have a great day,

Into the future,

davidT

Mountains or Beach? Neither

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One thing about moving to CO from CA is that people have assumptions. First, people assume that we're rich which we're not (can you say low housing market?). Second is that we miss the beach. I don't surf, so I don't miss the beach that way, but what I do miss is the ocean breeze and seeing the ocean, running next to it.

And I don't like the mountains either, I'm not into skiing, hiking, fishing, snow boarding. What I am is a CITY PERSON.

I like cities, their diversity, their people, cultures, I like what a city brings in its night life, clubs, sporting events, freeways and no I don't miss the traffic or crime.

So when people ask me "do you miss the beach?", or when people say "you'll love it here, do you snowboard?" my answer is always the same, "I am a city person." So my two favorite spots here in CO so far are: downtown Denver and downtown Arvada, CO.

Have a great day,

Into the future,

davidT

I Am What I Miss

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What do I miss about Los Angeles/Long Beach, CA? (the short list):
1. Diversity - Latinos, Cambodians, Philippinos, African American, etc. etc.
2. People of different backgrounds as friends, learning from each other, sharing life together, from children to teenagers and adults
3. Thinking about the world not just local news
4. Nice shoes, clothes, hairstyles
5. Style
6. Sense of community, those that love So Cal, feel they belong to something special
7. Carne Asada
8. Spanish
9. The weather, the weather, nice sunny days with a light breeze
10. The ocean
11. People we know
12. Streets we know
13. Freeways and quick access to everything
14. Our family
15. Our neighborhood, our home

I realize that a lot of what I miss is who I am, especially when it comes to diversity.

Have a great day,

Into the future,

davidT

Walking with God

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I don't remember many times when I could say
I've walked with God
Except during times of crisis, times of despair
When I was almost forced to do so

What do I mean, "walk with God?"
To ask versus talk, to listen

I hardly ask anyone for anything
My way to cope is to be in control
Control by learning, control by doing
Control myself, control others

And when things don't go my way
Depression or anger are the two emotions
That tell me that something's wrong

Do you know people that talk this way:
"I was talking to God the other day," or
"God, tell me what to do in this situation."

I know people like that
They walk with God
They talk and listen
They have what appears to be an "on going conversation"

I asked a mentor about this once
"How did you learn to walk with God?"...
"I haven't always been this way"
"I learned this after trying everything else"
"Nothing else seemed to work"
"I realized I need to walk this way"

That's my problem
Most times I feel I don't need to walk this way
I got it under control
I'm supposed to do it myself

When you're in control
And you want to do it your way
When pride and selfishness
Self-justification or hurt
Cause you to want to control everything around you
It doesn't matter what God or others say
You're doing all the talking

But when you learn to ask
To seek and listen
To walk with God
Things seem slower
You don't have to have all the answers
You don't seem to rush to get things done

You're dependent on something greater
And you feel, how can I put it,
Like you're leaning on someone else
Don't get me wrong, it's still you in that moment
But you feel like you're walking with a friend

Once upon a time
There were two friends walking along
They were talking about the recent events
Of how their best friend had suffered
Of how they missed him
Suddenly a stranger approached them
And joined their conversation
He walked along side of them

And this friend spoke to them from his life
With perspective and wisdom
Of people from the past that brought wisdom and hope

"Did you notice how are hearts were warmed as we walked?"
That's what it must feel like to walk with God

Last week during an hour or two
I think I walked with God
It felt great
I hope I can do it again

Have a great day,

Into the future,

davidT

Where is Home?

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It's good to be home, but where exactly is home?
The sea breeze, the palm trees
Running without a shirt on
The people, the world is here
Friends I miss, people I love
My family
This is home

Yet...

The mountains and open space
The new opportunities, a fresh start
The chance to be at a grass roots level
The chance to change the world

So, where is home?

Earlier today I was driving up to a park to see some friends
As I approached the curve side there was a woman, two little girls
And a little boy
Their faces were familiar, their smiles warmed my heart
They were my family

So I told myself, really, wherever they are, is home
Wherever we are, I'm home
Wherever God says to go
That's where I belong

Have a great day,

Into the future,

davidT

What Kind of Cleaning is Spring Cleaning?

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Boxes, boxes and more boxes...moving does that, boxes everywhere you look. So today, as I sorted through tons of stuff (too much stuff), something interesting happened.

Today I got rid of a ton of files, pictures, music, folders, books I've read. They all represent a time and a place in my life that is now over.

It's amazing how much of my previous life has ended, I guess it's all still in me as life never leaves, but there are things that are no longer in front, they're now behind me.

So as I sort through stuff I find myself feeling better. I am looking forward to new books, making new memories, to living in a new present. It sort of feels like someone has died and I'm getting rid of all their stuff.

Spring cleaning? Well, it's 20 degrees and snowing right now, my fingers are almost frozen. But something about this process makes me look forward to the future and I guess that's what spring is all about. It's The Spring of My Soul.

Have a great day,

Into the future,

davidT

Post It Complete

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Lifting today (1st time in Colorado), I was remembering how when I used to lift back home (Long Beach, CA) I used to have a post it in my garage that said "Future Ministry". I had 6 or 7 other similar notes that had significant events written on them (illness, death of family, marriage, etc). Underneath each event, I wrote "God's Faithfulness" as God brought me through some difficult times.

Now that I'm here, I can write "God's Faithfulness" underneath "Future Ministry", that post it is now complete.

While lifting in my new garage, I couldn't help but feel God's joy and pleasure all around me. It was a beautiful day, a day where I felt the happiness of God. Our new ministry assignment is a dream come true in so many ways.

Yes it's been hard moving, getting used to a new job, church, city, people, schools, etc. We don't know many people here and our family and trusted friends are all back home. But today was a new day. God's faithfulness became a reality, it's always been there, today it just became tangible.

Have a great day,

Into the future,

davidT

When I look at the Pictures

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When I look at the pictures
Of rock stars and wanna be's
I can almost believe
I can be
I can be

But I know better
I know better
I'm me

When I watch the videos on You Tube
And see the guitars glitter
In the ambers and reds
As the crowd grows wild
I can almost believe
I can be just like them

But I know better now
I know better
I'm me

Me is what I am
Not what I see on TV
Me is not that bad
It's actually pretty good

If I put the pursuit down
To follow what's on TV
And instead embrace the real me
What would be of my life?

It would be priceless
It would be filled with rightness

To pretend I'm all that I do
Is not that fun anymore
It drives me away from truth
It keeps me from being in the flow

I want to be me
I want to be free
Release me from the theater
Of acting on a stage

Instead I want to say hello
And talk and listen
And feel completely scared
But knowing I am me
Knowing I am free
From the old me
Into the new me

Have a great day,

Into the future,

davidT

While There's Still Time

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New job, new city.
Overwhelming, always something to do
A person to call, a vision on a napkin
A meeting to have, don't forget to talk to the boss

And my life at home
What matters most
Waits, listening to the conversation in the car
It goes something like this
"Today was a long day
Today was overwhelming
Today I met with the boss"

And they read books
And stare out the window
Every time we cross a railroad track
Our little boy says, "Mom, mom, you look that way
I'll look this way"
Lots of trains around here

Time passes so quickly

Our girl is sad her older sister no longer sleeps in the same room
Tears each night of how hard it is to be alone
The older sister is glad to be on her own
She pushes to grow up
She pushes forward
Life moves forward
We stay behind

Time passes so quickly

While there's still time
I will look left and right at the railroad track
While there's still time
I will sleep in our girls room once in a while so she won't feel alone
While there's still time I will be proud that our eldest is growing up
And kicking a soccer ball in the backyard with her new friend from across the street

Time passes so quickly

While there's still time I will help our little boy clean up his room
While there's still time we will go on another bike ride by the creek
While there's still time we will clean the tree house and paint our names on it
While there's still time I will record their voices in my mind

Yesterday I met a man who plays guitar and sings songs to God
I heard a recording of his two young daughters playing piano as he played along
One played the low keys, the other the highs

This man told me
That he has a cyst in his brain
That he had a seizure two weeks ago
This man is young

He told me of his dream
To one day see his young girls grow up
And play this song for them
Of them playing along
High keys, low keys
While he sat at the piano playing along

While there's still time
While there's still time
While there's still time
I will play along

Have a great day,

Into the future,

davidT

Crowder Goes to Mexico

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Have a great day,

Into the future,

davidT

Crowder in Colorado

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Have a great day,

Into the future,

davidT