A few days ago someone asked me an awkard question, "is the grief work you did with your dad helping you with gramma." I said it is, but my heart sank.
The grieving process for my gramma is what it is. I have another friend who wants me to be doing better than I am. I'm not doing bad, I'm working the system, moving forward, doing well. But I am where I am. I just lost one of the most significant people in my life. Yes, I've done the grief support, the counseling, it's all been great. I did that when my dad died and it's been helpful today. But this is now. Sure that's all helped, the 'new normal', the 'four stages of grief', anger, sadness, etc. But this is now and I'm moving through it. I am deeply saddened, tears roll down my eyes often. And I also aware of the joy and hope of Heaven, it's all in there. All of you who've lost a loved one understand.
After my dad died, our grief counselor told us to wear a button which read, "Please Forgive Me, I am A Grieving Person." I still have that button.
We don't grieve as those who have no hope (1 Thess. 4), but we still grieve. Like my father in law said, "this is a Royal Pain" and it is.
I remember that God first gives the family a sort of anesthetic during these first few weeks. Then the real work begins. I asked my aunt Sheila yesterday what was the hardest part for her after her husband died 6 months ago, was it the burial, the hospital. She said, it's the missing.
I miss my grandmother. Thank you for praying for us all. We are all grieving together, this is going to be a long journey, but we'll get through it. God walks besides me.
