Welcome back.So I'm on the last two chapters (of 20) of Don Miller's book "Blue Like Jazz." ©2003 and it's sort of combination of Douglas Copeland's "Life After God," and McLaren's "A New Kind of Christian." Pretty amazing book. Honest, raw, without resolution and as the author himself writes, ' "I guess I'm not alone at being alone." and I think that sums up how I feel about Blue Like Jazz.'
I've read books like this before and they make you feel understood, like you're not alone, like you don't have to hide anymore. Like the first time a friend said, "I struggle with lust," or "I don't feel in love with my wife right now," or "I don't like myself very much." You feel like the secret is out and it's okay to talk about it.
These books are great for conversations and should be read in community, with a group of college students at a retreat, a men's getaway, or a group of girlfriends reading it at Starbucks. It's not a here is the answer kind of book.
I say this, because many of my Christian friends want books to give them 'the answer.' They frustrate me. They can't handle tension, honesty and conversation. But it's when we sit down in community and ask these things, with a Bible in hand, a bunch of great books, coffee and a heck of lot of honesty, that we find the answers we're looking for.
As the books itself says, "Jesus does not want us floating through space or sitting in front of our televisions. Jesus wants us interacting, eating together, laughing together, praying together." I have experienced this once or twice in my life. I'm currently beginning to experience this once again.
I've been longing for this kind of relationship among staff, friends and family. Yet I've had to be learn a lot myself. I am much more open, honest and consistent in my friendships than I was a few years ago. Pain and grief does that to a man over time. It breaks you down, it tells you that art, music, faith, God, prayers, devotional life, right doing, your wife and family are but part of the whole. You need a desire for community, not just community. I didn't have such a desire until recently, now I am there, and I want it bad.
And as I get there, I will bring guidance and direction and experience and honesty and God and Jesus and life to those around me. And I will bring nothing at the same time, except for open hands willing to learn, accept, respect and together live a better life in Jesus, following His ways and living it out so that others may know and worship Him.
UPDATE: Finished the book. It ends with a bang. The last two chapters are titled "Jesus", and the last one, "Love" - what better way to end. This is the kind of book you can give to a seeking friend (or better yet get a book club started). I'm still meditating on what this book made me feel. More later...
UPDATE2: The book invites you to be in community with others. Nothing new you say, but oh so refreshing. It's the kind of relationships where there's honesty and pain and hopes and dreams.
Let me give you some examples:
Today, Tina came by with her beautiful daughter. We talked about her life, her two miracles, her journey, about blogging. Her and Rachelle later spoke about how she's doing, about marriage and parenting and faith.
Then Howard my next door neighbor came by. He's 70 and lost his dad 2 weeks ago, his dad was 100 and I got a chance to pray with him minutes before he died, it was amazing to be there. Howard came over to show me the DVD of his dad's ashes being let out at the ocean a few days ago. He kept saying in a nervous kind of way, like when people are feeling something deeply but they keep talking about something smaller in comparison just from nerves, he kept saying, "they did a great job on the DVD, a great job, those guys do great work..."
Right before that Larry the door-to-door fundraiser from Teen Challenge knocked on our door. He said a rude lady just a few doors down had told him she wasn't interested in helping teens. He said, "how can anyone not be interested?" He told me that just that morning he had felt a call to go into ministry, to become a pastor, he said he didn't think he could do it. But you know how people tell you something but they really mean another, that was Larry. He really felt like God was calling him to become a pastor or something. I prayed for him, the word "resolution" kep coming up in the prayer. At the end he said, "like you said, I need to resolve these things in my heart."
Just a few minutes ago, Donna and Sidney came over. Sidney is 4 and is a very active little girl. Donna, her grandmother who lives a few doors down (hopefully she wasn't the mean lady), wanted to introduce Sidney to us who is here visiting them from Florida with her daughter for Mothers' Day. They came in, Sidney ran around the house for a few minutes and they just left.
These things happen to us every day. They happen to me often, and yet they don't, you know what I mean? They don't happen because I usually don't have time for them, don't make them a priority. Often I am too self-focused to think about the needs of others.
But God is changing my heart and is taking me deeper into this place of serving, of being accessible, of caring deeply. I know this can become too much, but I could use more of this in my life and I feel God is calling me to more genuine community with people in my neighborhood, at church, with people. This book, has opened my eyes in some fresh ways.
UPDATE3: I just ordered Miller's latest book (although he's got another one coming this Fall),
"Searching for God Knows What".
Into the future...
davidT
