Welcome back.
I was talking to a friend Mark, today at the church picnic and we got talking about freedom. He told me that he's been a believer for 20 years but feels guilty over the anxiety he feels in his life, like he should know better. Ever been there? I have. He said he recently moved here from Texas and things have gotten worse for him. He asked what I did for my devotional life. I think he expected me to tell him I pray every day at 5am for 3 hours. I told him nothing of the like.
I said that to me it's a relationship. I told him that I also used to be bound. How I used to set a clock next to my bed for 15mns. and pray. I felt more self-righteous and like I was really committed to God if I prayed for a certain amount of time. Wow.
I told him that now Jesus and I talk. Sometimes it's about nothing, other times it's about real important stuff. Sometimes I tell him, "okay Lord, what are we going to do here?" I also told him that I use a devotional guide "A Guide to Prayer for All God's People" and read a psalm every day for 7 days. This week I've been reading Psalm 103, "bless the Lord, o my soul..."
We then got talking about freedom. I told him that I sensed God telling me that he was set for freedom. Freedom from the guilt of 'skipping' a devotional time. Freedom into peace and a greater understanding of the Grace of God. I used the imagery of a snake shedding it's old skin to reveal a new one (I don't know why, it just came to me). I told him that God wanted Him to see Him in a deeper way, not in a new way necesarily, for Jesus is the same yesterday, today and forever, but in a deeper way. That God is a near God, a God of grace, of compassion. He said he's usually a guy that expects a lot of himself. High standards, etc. Yeah, me too. Anyone?
So we talked about grace, grace and more grace. I told him a question to ask 'wise leaders' is "are you growing in grace?" He said he felt he was growing in grace with his co-workers. Mark is a manager, and was recently promoted to oversee a team of people. He told me he has been seeing his life increase in grace towards an employee who had not been doing what was expected of him. He met with him, told him he believed in him, asked him what was keeping him from succeeding, called him on a few issues (like integrity), told him he'd have to suffer the consequences of his poor performance (no raise, etc), but set goals for him for the next year. He just recently met with him again, and this employee has done so well in the last year that Mark told him he is now his 'go-to' guy. Grace does this.
Mark also told me of a book he's reading called, "Working with Emotional Intelligence" which talks about how outstanding leaders are not measured by their IQ or job skill alone, that's only the 1st level, but outstanding leaders succeed because of their "passion." Sounds awesome. He told me he thought I was an example of this to him. He was very generous.
Do you struggle with performance anxiety in your devotional life? Does this help? What have you done to get yourself out of that place and into a connected life with Jesus the River of life?
Into the future,
davidT
