La Cocina

cocina.JPG
Originally uploaded by dtrigueros.

This is one my favorite pictures I have of my grandmother because I saw this every day in real life. Part of her routine was to put away the dishes each morning. It was her 'trabajo (job)' she said.

Tonight - Levels are Lower

Tonight, her sedation levels are down from 32 to 24. Tomorrow morning, they will do another test. Leslie, the head nurse said she expects the numbers to be low enough tomorrow morning to take off the ventilator and see how she responds.

Tonight, the family went out to dinner and had a pleasant time talking about gramma, spending time together. It was fun.

Have a great New Year's Eve and New Year's Day. God is our strength and our joy.

Kidneys are Working

I spoke to the nurse Leslie this morning, she's the head nurse. She said gramma is urinating and her kidneys are working. I asked her if perhaps her kidneys were failing, but she said they're fine. She said they performed another test this morning to see where her sedation levels are at. We'll know more later.

Today also marks the 4th year anniversary of my dad's death. He died to be with Jesus, Dec. 31st, 2000. Today is an amazing day, thinking of him, my mom (her husband) also thinking of him, gramma's condition and also, one wonderful thing, my sister is due with their second Jan. 9th.

What a journey. I wrote a song 4 years ago in response to my dad's death and how God is near to the brokenhearted:

"You Walk Besides Me, your presence is my strength and so I can say that/You walk besides me, your love has broken through."

Gramma Has Been at the Center

We're home this morning, resting. We slept well last night. God's grace. No medical updates as of now.

This morning, I realized how my grandmother has been the center of my cultural and Spanish soul. Here at home, I speak Spanish all the time, to our children, to myself, to the walls. I do this because it's my soul speaking. I also do this because I knew my grandmother was near, hearing me, laughing at my jokes, my thoughts...."Que niños tan lindos! Te quiero desde que saliste de ese lugar tan oscuro! Te veo mas bello hoy que nunca...." "You children are so beautiful, I've loved you since the day you were born, you look more beautiful to me now than ever..." Stuff like that.

She would always listen in, laughing at me, understanding me, getting it.

I am missing that today.

Meds Still in Her

Tonight, the sedation in her body is still not leaving her. They want to bring her sedation levels down to 10 or 15. They're at 30. It seems her body is not processing the meds out. Her liver/kidneys may be bad. They've been okay so far. So they're not taking the ventilator off tonight. Tomorrow, we will talk to Dr. Chappel (her main surgeon), about what this means.

We are talking about services, moving her possibly to Nicaragua for burial, etc. All the hard stuff....wow, I'm weary. I can't imagine I'm here, but God is with me. I feel his strength through all your prayers. Thank you.

Our family is helping with the details, finances, processing. Elaine, a friend of the family who is a national award winning hospice nurse, has been amazing with her advice on the process of dying and the medical system. It's so painful to write about this. I'm so tired.

Pray for a miracle, pray the medication goes out of her, pray for God's will. Pray for my mom, she's weary tonight.

Who is My Grandmother to Me

Grandmothers are always special. To me, abuelita is like my mom and dad. She has raised me basically from 13 on. When the Sandinista war forced my parents to send me to Long Beach at age 13, I came to live with my grandmother. Since then, we've lived together. First, I lived in her 1-bedroom apartment at 843 Raymond Ave in Long Beach, CA 90804, 562-439-8724, for 10 years until I married. Prior to that, I came twice to visit when I was 9 and later about 11. During those times, she used to walk to me to elementary school, go clean 2-3 houses to support us and come by in the afternoon and pick me up from Willard Elementary on Freeman Ave. in LB.

Then Rachelle and I got married and my grandmother lived with her son for two-three years. Then about 6 years ago, she moved into our home and we were together again.

In those last 6 years she helped us shape and raise our three children. About a month ago I asked her, "abuelita, y yo como soy, soy un buen hombre?" (gramma, what about me, am I a good man?)...She said, "sos un buen hombre, y un buen marido, y buen padre....pero mucho gritas..." She said, "you're a good man, and a good husband and father...but you talk too much." I have felt the love of those words. They have meant a lot to me. Sometime this year I also asked her if she felt I loved her and she told me, 'yo se que me queres...' "I know you love me."

I think we all love someone(s) desperately. That sense of overwhelming, almost painful love that we have for a special few. It includes the sharing of life, time together, who knows what all. For me, my grandmother is one of those people. I love her that way.

Update: Last night, we just had to go be with her. She was alone at the hospital, so my mom, Rachelle and I drove to UCI Medical Center where she is and spent the night with her. She is not showing signs of waking up. Sometime today, we will decide when to take the next step which would include life support.

I am praying for miracles. But I have surrendered her life to Jesus. She is His, her faith in Jesus Christ was real and she will be with Him. God knows the number of her days. We are trusting Him.

Wed Night

We left tonight and my gramma has not responded since we took her off the sedation. It's been over 24hrs and they want to give her 48hrs which would be around 6pm tomorrow night. If nothing changes, they would take her off the ventilator for 5mns to see if she breathes on her own. If she does, she keeps fighting. If not, that could be the end.

We're praying for a miracle. Trusting God for with her life.

abuelita Amanda

This is the last picture we took of gramma in our backyard Monday, Dec. 20th. We were planting seeds. Here she is working on the yard. All of us were around her, helping, her three great-grandkids steps away with their brooms. It was a fun day.

We are still waiting to see if she comes out her 'induced' comma (sedation).

Wed Update

Today, wed. we talked to the nurse. Last night, we asked to have her off the sedationn medication to see if she comes out of the induced comma. So far, nothing. It's been more than 12 hours and the tests show no signs of brain activity at this time. That's not a positive sign, there should be something by now. Usually we should see something in 6-8hours. She's still on the ventilator, on heart and blood pressure medication. We now decide that if her brain doesn't show any signs, we may take her off the heart medication as the next 'weaning' step. We have met as a family, lots was shared, lots of tears, deciding what SHE would want. And we agreed, with advice from a nurse friend and doctor friend, to go slow. Taking her off the ventilator would be the next thing, which would then be pretty final. This process could take 30mns or days. Today, we will meet again as a family, and then with the doctors to walk this through together. We are also talking about the post details of burial, etc. We're asking if she would want to go home to Nicaragua, if that would be too expensive/feasible, etc.

Gramma Not Doing Well

The right side of her brain is completely dead. Her life after would be limited and most likely with a breathing and feeding machine. We will decide tomorrow what/when to allow her to...

The question they ask us is, 'what kind of life would she want to have?', 'what have you heard her say?'

She would not want to live that kind of life.

Thank you for praying.

Pray for gramma, for strength for us, for my mom who flies in tonight at midnight, for Rachelle, our children who ask us lots of questions that we're doing our best to answer, for the whole process and upcoming decisions.

Update: Gramma's Condition

Thank you for praying.

Last night, she had a 12 hour two part surgery to remove the anurism. The first part was an attempt which failed. It was trying to get to the anurism through her arteries. They got there, were almost done closing off the inflamation when the right side of her brain shut down. They had to do a second emergency surgery, opening up the right side of her skull to clamp the anurism, remove the 'coils' that had fallen into the arteries of the right side of her brain and try to get the blood flowing again.

She may have some effects from this loss of blood. Her left side could be affected to some degree. Now, she's in recovery from this major procedure. But she made it through and we're so glad! She almost didn't make it through the first surgery. Last night, after the failed first procedure, it looked grim.

She's still in critical but stable condition. Right now, her blood pressure is low which is not a good thing, but it is going up. The pressure in her brain is normal which is very important. Please pray for her bp to go up to 160 and her brain not to swell. She's under general aneasthetic for another day or two to allow the brain to 'sleep' so that it doesn't have to work much therefore reducing the pressure in the brain.

Amazing. I still feel this is all a nightmare. I'm grateful for so many little/huge things. Naps, my family taking care of the children, Tom bringing us lunch as we speak, my wife driving to the hospital last night around midnight when it all looked gray.

I'm trusting God. He walks besides gramma and besides me.

Thank you for praying.

My Gramma is Having Brain Surgery Tonight

An anurism in her head burst, she's having surgery tonight. It's a big deal. Please pray for her and the family. I am trusting God for her future. This is hard for me. She's like my mom and dad in one. I am praying for a full recovery.

Thank you.

Christmas is Merry in the Small Things.

Just today on the freeway, two cars were racing, chasing each other, seemingly mad:

Christmas is in the small things.

This morning, I dropped off a donation for needy children in downtown Long Beach:

Christmas is in the small things.

How will I bless our worship band:

Went and got Starbuck and Baskin Robbin gift cards for them.

Scare With Squats

I was doing heavy squats earlier today and for a second I let go of my grip of the bar with my left hand and I almost lost control of the bar atop my shoulders. I didn't know what to do. Drop it....hmmm, the weights might fall on the back of my legs. Tilt to one side or the other...I had too much weight on either side, my back would take most of the hit.....better think quick....I could feel all my senses and nerve endings totally awake! My shoulder muscles tightened up, making the bar feel even heavier on my shoulders...I probably had about 200lbs on my back. Finally, got my hands underneath the bar again, controlled it, balanced it, backed up into the squat rack....I was okay.

I walked around for 10mns. just relaxing. It freaked me out. That's how you learn good form and safety. That won't happen again.

My Christmas Gift

I'm about to go pick this up. Time to upgrade. Pretty fun.

Christmas Eve at Bethany

Should be a good night. Service times: 5:30pm and 7pm. Come by and enjoy a guided Christmas worship time. I'll be playing with our bands.

How and Where Did Emergent Start? Not in the U.S.

Another great thing about Andrew's blog, is that he serves as a historian to emergent. Just yesterday, after church film instructor at Biola University asked me about the history behind emergent.

I have read much of the history of emergent at Andrew's blog. Thanks.

Measuring Emergentness by Smilies.

iTunes Soulful Christmas mix

Thanks to Rudy for the list of soulful Christmas songs. You can get all these from iTunes. Enjoy.

"Soulful Christmas - James Brown
The Little Drummer Boy - Stevie Wonder
Rudolpho the Red-Nosed Reindeer - Burl Ives
Frosty the Snowman - Brenda Lee
Santa Claus is coming to town - Brenda Lee
Chestnuts roasting - Mel Torme
Do you hear what I hear? - Vanessa Williams
I wonder as I wander - Vanessa Williams
What child is this? - Vanessa Williams
Hark the herald angels sing - Vanessa Williams
O Come All Ye Faithful - Luther Vandross
Silver Bells - Stevie Wonder
Go tell it on the mountain - Smokey Robinson
O holy night - Smokey Robinson
Joy to the world - Johnny Cash
Silent Night - Sixpence None The Richer
White Christmas - Louis Armstrong"

Christmas Work Parties - Go or Don't Go

I must say they're usually not bad for me. This year, I had a Chrismas Eve rehearsal that I accidently scheduled on the same night. So I had to cancel the rehearsal which was not good, and I went to the staff Christmas party and it was fun...

I wonder how others feel about them....whether you're the boss or the employee.

Here's a friend's story:

"I haven't been to my salons 'fancy' Christmas party in a long time. Maybe 5 or 6 times in 16 years! I was having a conversation (chat) w/my boss/owner and he was expressing to me how disapointing/frustrating it is for him when people dont come, come w/o there spouse or significant other, come drunk and dont drink his purchased stuff or dont eat. He really feels it's disrespectful to him, after all he's trying to do something nice for everyone and goes to alot of planning. Let's just say I'm going to this years party on sun nite! I always go to the casual/gift exchange party (that was on mon nite) it's a great time and it's just the people who work there, pot luck and stuff, big fun!
This year will be different because he decided to change things since so few were coming. We are going on a boat in Balboa to see the lights. Light food, hot chocolate and some drinks, casual, and the best part is I get to bring my Kids!"

Interesting. Makes me more understanding of what bosses go through.

Sad Christmas Stories

Just another day...The music director at the Crystal Cathedral commits suicide after dealing with depression for most of his life, a mom who is killed and her baby taken from her womb, people cheer when Peterson is sentenced to die, Christmas carols banned from high school in New Jersey.

Where are the good Christmas stories? Let's get those going.

Email is Down

In case you've been trying to email me, the server is down, I'm getting nothing at the bethany account.

You can email me at:
dtrigueros@gmail.com or
dartrigueros@aol.com

Almost Had my Laptop Stolen

Tonight, during a break from rehearsal, I walked back to my office and my laptop was gone, the drawers from my desk open and there was a jacket outside near the door. I had left my office open, but the glass doors in the office space were locked.

I was in shock, I couldn't believe it. I looked everywhere for it and for clues. I called my friend to come help me look around and he found the computer hidden behind a box in the hallway near my office.

Did someone leave it there to come back for it later? In the main sanctuary, there were over 300 people for a children's performance, so it could have been anyone.

I don't know what to think.

When I first walked into the office area, a guy walked out the front door. He had a jacket on, so it couldn't have been his jacket outside my office. And he looked like a parent type. But how did he get in?

What's even more strange, is that after my friend found the laptop, I locked my office and went back to the rehearsal room. I left the jacket outside my office. After rehearsal, I came back, and the jacket was gone.

Was it a kid, was the man I saw literally in the middle of stealing the computer when he heard me open the back door?

I dont' know what to think. I'm glad I have the laptop. I will talk to the staff about this tomorrow.

Crazy.

Finals Update

Almost there...

1. Romans - Final Exegetical Paper, Romans 7:1-6, due Friday (done)
2. Romans - Outline of Book, due Friday (done)
3. Apologetics - 8 outlines of apologetic arguments - due Friday, 4pm (please pray for wisdom, endurance)

Thanks.

Just Studying

Finals...

1. Apologetics - 8 outlines of apologetic arguments - due Friday
2. Romans - Outline of Book, due Friday (done)
3. Romans - Final Exegetical Paper, Romans 7:1-6, due Friday (50% done)

If you can, pray for endurance, wisdom and to finish strong. Many people around us in the same boat these days.

Thank you.

Leaders Create Meaning

This makes sense. I remember when my father died 4 years ago in two weeks, it changed me forever. But through the grace of God and lots of counseling, that event has spurred me and our family to a deeper place of reliance, relationship and creativity.

Leaders Create Meaning:

"According to Bennis and Thomas, one key difference between lifetime leaders and 'nonleaders' lies in how they respond to the defining moments they experience. 'Leaders create meaning out of events and relationships that devastate nonleaders,' they write.

We don't always know it when we're in the middle of a defining moment; sometimes, the importance of these experiences can only be seen in retrospect. Either way, it is up to us to decide how they are going to affect us and our leadership. As Aldous Huxley said, 'Experience is not what happens to a man. It is what a man does with what happens to him.'"

The Skinny on: Emergent Criticism

What's memorable for me is being at a Young Leader's gathering, (as they were called back then), in Newport Mesa, CA and meeting Rudy, Andrew, Paul Kaanz?, Dieter, all these guys that were rocking my world. It's nostalgic and exciting to remember those days. I also remember going to San Antonio to a Young Leader's thing and hearing Doug and Jason Mitchell (Bethany intern), talk about changing culture. It didn't all make sense at the time, but look at where it's now...

It has been fun to be a part of this conversation for the last 10-15 years. I was 20-25 back then. And yet frustrating to see how little I have done. Perhaps the best is yet to come for me personally as well as for our church. One has to wish.

One last note. Andrew here talks about a book "Reclaiming the Center", and it's of note that our apologetics prof at Talbot, Garrett DeWeese wrote an article in the book together with JP Morelan. He spoke of this book in class and I guess I just feel lucky to be in such a seminary with such a man and such a book.

This whole thing makes me tear up. Not sure why.
The Skinny on Emergent Criticism.

Bracelet Madness

I see them everywhere now. Whether it's Red for Trotter's efforts, or Yellow for LAF, these things are everywhere.

Should I get one? What color?

My wife doesn't want Christmas gifts this year. She instead is asking all of us as well as extended family to send gifts to a list of needy children in Long Beach.

Maybe I should wear a White bracelet on her behalf. White for Christmas. Where do I get a White bracelet made with her name on it?

My Sister in Law's List

My sister in law is amazing. She is leaving for Cambodia on a short-term project in two weeks. She also makes me laugh.

Here's part of her Christmas list. I especially like the "car body repaired on passenger side" one...

My needs are none, but my wants are listed below:
1. Kitchen baseboards
2. Car body repaired on passenger side
3. Carpet cleaned
4. Clipboard
5. Light switch in bathroom fixed


Anyone?

Letters To A Young Worship Leader: Signaling The Band

Attitude, signaling the band, different bands, competition, character over job....great resources for WL's and bands....

Letters To A Young Worship Leader: Signaling The Band.

Tony Campolo on Emergent: Movement is new form of evangelism

Pretty good article, except for the part about 'they tend to rejet the exclusivistic claims...about salvation.' What does that mean?

Movement is new form of evangelism

You Broke Up Pantera, I'll Kill You

This is crazy, killing a guitarist for breaking up his previous band....wow. I vaguely remember Pantera. Any fans?

Band Guitarist Killed: "Some witnesses told police the 25-year-old gunman, Nathan Gale of nearby Marysville, Ohio, shouted, 'You broke up Pantera' before gunning down Abbott and firing at other band members and the crowd in the Wednesday night shooting."

We Passed Final Inspection

Yeahhhhhh........

City of Long Beach is a tough place to build, but we're through and legal.

Yes Lord.

Here's Me Now

Nov 2004a
Originally uploaded by dtrigueros.

A work in progress.

Before and After

Before and After
Originally uploaded by dtrigueros.

Here's where it's all headed.

An Interview With The Blond Bomber Dave Draper.

What do you eat daily?
What's your daily workout like?
What supplements do you take?
How do you incorporate aerobic exercise?

Great questions if you're into weightraining. I've learned a lot from Dave Draper. An Interview With The Blond Bomber Dave Draper.

Carols on Guitar

Every year I realize carols weren't meant to be played on acoustic guitar. Oh yes, I've made it happen through the years, and Angels We Have Heard sounds pretty cool on EG. I've got many versions...nonetheless, each year I end up trying to make these carols warm, fun, fresh, traditional, all in the spirit of Christmas....not an easy thing.

Some places for Carols on guitar:
Guitar Chords.
CCLI.com (if you subscribe)
Betty's Carols.

Jerusalem Perspective Online

Another good preaching source for Jewish cultural backgound: Jerusalem Perspective Online.

playing some more

iTunes, Thesarus, Amazon links, currently listening to : Politik from the album "RushofBlood" by Coldplay

I want to try this. Say I want to buy my wife a book on flowers. She likes flowers. How do I find that online? Here it is. Nice.

"Well-Tended Perennial Garden: Planting & Pruning Techniques" (Tracy Disabato-Aust)

Fired for Blogging at Work

Not me, not yet at least... : ) But this can get pretty scary...

Blogs May Be a Wealth Hazard: "One day, he saw some then-new Power Mac G5 computers being unloaded on site, and, tickled by the idea that Microsoft would be using Apple hardware, he snapped a photo and uploaded it to his blog."

Feeling Poopy

I saw a card once at Rite Aid of a baby boy, about 6 months old, sitting on his diaper, in tears. The caption said, "feeling poopy...."

That about sums it up for me today. Tomorrow should be better. It's a new day.

Why Better

What's better about Ecto is that you can post from the news reader itself. You can't do that with the free version of NewsReader. The problem with ecto is that it's $17.95.

Thanks for the heads up Doug Pagitt.

This is Better

Can't do this with NewsReader

Ten Months and Out - Not Me

Apparently most bloggers keep the daily thing going for a while - ten months on average - before they find it becomes onerous and give it up. I can't tell how long this particular party will go on, but I'm not thinking of closing it down any time soon. In the meantime, can I fill up your glass for you?

says maggi dawn.

Like her, I'm not going anywhere. Since the move, and closing of the old blog, I feel like I can go on for a while.

Pull up a chair, enjoy.

It's All About Me

I don't want to go to Fudruckers with my wife and children tonight, I just want to be home, workout, study some more, and do what I want to do. How do you make I capital, when it already is....

I am so selfish.

Long Beach Culture.Org: Your Event Search Results

I'm here at Portfolio Cafe studying for Sunday night. It's going well, I know lots about Mary and Joseph and Herod (he was not very nice). Ask me anything. Right...

A couple in their 50's just came in and asked the owner, who is hanging new art work around the place (pretty cool owner), what is going on in Long Beach this week in the arts. She had no clue. That was sad. She pointed them to OC Weekly! OC Weekly? Isn't that Orange County news? So I thought, you know, she needs to know about Long Beach Culture.Org: Your Event Search Results. Here you can get a complete listing of cultural events around the LBC - arts, music, festivals, etc

So next time you're in town, check it out, and if you have someone asking you what is there to do, don't confuse them, help them.

Tonight - Tim Hughes

Tonight, I'll be going to a worship concert with Tim Hughes ("here I am to worship") at ::NewSong in Irvine, CA.

Preaching Resource

Studying for Sunday night, Joseph from Matt 1 and Luke 1,2.

Trying to find historical and cultural background on arranged marriages, Herod, killing of babies, exile to Egypt and the like.

Follow the Rabbi, has been helpful. Funny title, great resources.

Who Should Be A Church Planter

Alex at Mosaic and the Origins Project, speaks about what it takes to plant a church. Some of his conclusions are:
1. A person who has to reach people
2. A person who must impact culture

I think the question you should ask, if you're thinking of planting a church, is "do I have an attitude of "I must reach" people?" and second, "am I someone who impacts culture?"

"Last week I spoke at a very cool Willow Creek style church in Michigan. The leader of their 20/20 church-planting network, Nick, reminded me of something fundamental. In selecting church planters it isn't enough to find someone who "wants" to plant a church. The right guy "has to" reach people, "must" impact culture, and he'll attempt it with or without our money, our buildings, and our structures. May their tribe increase, right?"

Church planters that build good churches (not size but impact), usually have an evangelistic gift. And I know there are many stories of success out there that have little to do with size. I agree. But these guys also have a leadership gift. Teaching gift? Some have it, some don't. There are other models, such as church within a church and house networks that don't require those gifts. But starting a new church, is a leadership, vision, entrepreneur endeavor. It's not for everyone.

If you're not a church planter, be what you are, there are plenty of ministries that need remodeling, reinventing and so forth. Be you and be the best.

I know church planting is sexy. What is not sexy is doing something you're not supposed to be doing. I sometimes lament the lack of 'alternatives' for those who are not church planters. Currently I see few options:
1. Stay and - a. Be miserable b. Try to change the culture or c. Become the culture
2. Church plant
3. House church
4. Sunday night service

I'm currently doing #1b and #4, decided not to do #2 and haven't thought about #3. But "I still haven't found what I'm looking for..." but instead I'm finding obedience to the challenges ahead of me today. And I am waiting on God to open a door of opportunity, or perhaps He's waiting for me to walk through it.

How do You do Artist Transformation?

I have been asking David Arcos, worship arts director at :: MOSAIC ::, similar questions. He's had some great responses. What a great place:

Q: How do you organize your Artists Retreats?
A: We created our time around
Creativity
Community and character

Fri. night- launched our teams who each had a project to create by the end
of the retreat.
Sat. explored mediums of art we never tried before through workshops
Sun- worked on our specific craft and created an explosive worship service
on sun. night.
Mon- shared what God did.

Q: How do you do Artist Transformation?
A: Well that is a great question "how do you do Artist transformation?" let me know if you find out. Just kidding...
We do ministry together
We put character over craft in dealing with those in our leadership base who shape the ethos of the teams.
When our leaders are healthy and seeking God, we see breakthrough artistic expression and deep community. When we are not on our game we see this break down at every level.

In terms of momentum. We create original productions every week in our
celebration services. This keeps us going. Without it we would be like a
football team that practiced without ever playing the game.
I realize this is simplistic but I hope this helps.

Barna Update - Help me Grow

Arghhh...these reports frustrate me more than anything. There's so much info and I don't know how to interpret them for our context. Small church, big church, new believers, old believers, young, old, etc.

One thing that makes sense is that "if it's broke fix it". It seems people want a deeper relationship with God, but they don't know how to do that and their churches aren't helping.

In worship, I'm trying to develop steps 2-3 for artist transformation. Things like artists communities (small groups), artist experiences, service projects and put them into some sort of free-form/easy to follow mode that people can follow.

Barna: Help Me Grow!

“The survey suggests that nearly 120 million adults are seeking to become more spiritually adept. To accomplish that goal, they need guidance, a plan of action and some realistic forms of accountability. Doing more of the same activity that got them where they are today is not the solution to getting them to where they want to be tomorrow.”

Mood: Irritated. Smashed right ring finger kills, workers aren't working, small gas leak (again), am I supposed to take this week off?, Christmas program moves things around, speaking this Sunday night (good thing), test Tuesday night. Finger hurts.

Smashed My Finger

I was putting away the weights (dumbells) and whammm! Black, and blue right ring finger. Nail is bad. Everything hurts.

Amazing Trip

Got home from San Clemente, CA, wow, what a beautiful place. God met me there, I met Him there, etc. Got home and spoke to friends we hadn't seen in a while.

Lots there during the trip. Wrote a lot, read tons, ask me about the resurrection, go ahead, I got it down, yeah right. Hopefully my test Tuesday night will show that.

The ocean, beautiful. Ran on the beach, how amazing to run on sand, the waves, the smells. Went to San Clemente Gym to pump iron, that was cool, right near the beach on El Camino Real. The bottom was buying a tootbrush and burnt coffee at the local 7-11. I was laughing all the way home.

More...

Please Just Tell Me

Rant: Why do bloggers link with words such as 'this' or 'here' instead of the site name?

Ex: "I guess everyone is doing their Christmas shopping here...." Don't do a a link to 'here' just tell me what 'here' is. Annoying....Especially, when the 'here' is not very interesting. In this case it was, you guessed it, Amazon.com. It's a waste of time and it makes me not want to click on any 'here' or 'this'.

Please just tell me, and get this guy to be nice to you. : )

San Clemente, CA. Clear Skies.

Twice a year I take a prayer and rest retreat. This weekend is one of those times. The other was back in Feb of this year, I went to a monastery in Oceanside. That was amazing.

This time it's a lot less fancy. Just a nice motel near the ocean in San Clemente, CA. I'm hoping to write and to reflect on the last 2 years: remodel, marriage, ministry, surgeries (gramma), birth of third child, Resonate, etc.

The Calm Before the...

Nice day. Arms and shoulders this AM at 8am, 200 crunches, feel ready to enjoy the afternoon. Playing with the children, while Rachelle gets ready to go. We'll leave here around 1pm to Suzanne's place (R's sister) 10 mns. away (nice), for dinner and family time.

This morning the tears rolled while getting my workout log ready. Funny when things come to your heart. I wrote down the times I've felt thankful this year...

1. Rachelle and I having one of our toughest nights this year on the kitchen table, crying together over our marriage and our commitment to having an awesome marriage and what it would take to get there.

2. Seeing little David's sock while I was outside working out, he was sitting at the green purple table, sitting on his purple chair, coloring, and all I could see from outside was his head and his blue sock with a baseball on it. And I thought, that's what's important to me, that's what's meaningful in my life. So I went inside and kissed him.

3. Combined Service, seeing our tech team and band do such awesome work.

4. Canela's face

5. Isabela's hugs

6. My gramma's sweaters. I love seeing her wear them, pleasant memories from when I was younger and we lived in the 1 bedroom apartment for 10 years.

7. Jesus on a cross, the book of Colossians, people like Ron, Kevin, Rimoldi that challenge me, asking me the tough questions. I can't live there, but I sometimes get tired of the yes people or the over critical people in my life.]

8. Music, Coldplay, some worship songs

Happy Thanksgiving!

Not Big Into It, But Good to Go

I'm not a big fan of our thanksgiving eve service which happens tonight. Too much home cooking for me. I'd be better off home with my family or out with friends. But, it's good for me so I'm going and I volunteered to play and help lead the songs. It's good for me to be in community with the larger 'family' although I don't always feel connected to it.

These nights bring out the desire and need in me. I desire community with like minded people, yet I need community with our current church. So I'm going. I also know 4-5 years ago my dad and I went to one of these services and it meant the world to many people to see us together there that night. So you never know.

I'm going with a good attitude and a heart open to God's voice through the people.

Exercise update: I did 200 regular and reverse crunches a bit ago, and after the service I will do arms and back. Can't wait.

Last Minute Turkey Recipe

Just in case....

Roast Turkey with Classic Pan Gravy
From Cooking Light

There are two ways to thaw a frozen bird. The easiest: Place it on a tray in the refrigerator for three days. The quickest: Submerge the wrapped turkey, breast side down, in cold water for 5 to 6 hours; change the water every half hour to keep it cold.

1 (12-pound) fresh or frozen turkey, thawed
1/3 cup spicy brown mustard
1/4 cup packed chopped fresh sage leaves
1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
2 garlic cloves, minced
2 cups fat-free, less-sodium chicken broth
Classic Pan Gravy

Preheat oven to 450°.

Remove giblets and neck from turkey and reserve for Classic Pan Gravy. Rinse turkey with cold water, and pat dry. Trim excess fat. Starting at neck cavity, loosen skin from breast and drumsticks by inserting fingers, gently pushing between the skin and meat. Combine the mustard, sage, black pepper, and garlic. Rub the mustard mixture under loosened skin. Lift the wing tips up and over back; tuck under turkey.

Place turkey, breast side up, in a shallow roasting pan. Pour broth over turkey. Insert a meat thermometer into meaty part of thigh, making sure not to touch the bone. Place turkey in a 450° oven; immediately reduce the oven temperature to 325° (do not remove turkey from oven). Bake for 2 hours or until thermometer registers 180°, basting turkey frequently with pan juices. Reserve 3 tablespoons drippings for Classic Pan Gravy; let turkey stand for 25 minutes. Discard skin. Serve with Classic Pan Gravy.


Yield: 12 servings (serving size: 6 ounces turkey and about 3 tablespoons gravy)

NUTRITION PER SERVING
CALORIES 326(27% from fat); FAT 9.6g(sat 3.1g,mono 2.2g,poly 2.7g); PROTEIN 51.6g; CHOLESTEROL 130mg; CALCIUM 58mg; SODIUM 418mg; FIBER 0.9g; IRON 3.4mg; CARBOHYDRATE 3.9g

U2.com, Not Into It

I'm not saying the Irish rockers don't deserve all the credit they get. They are awesome. And yes, I am an 80's child, and have all their albums, including Boy and Unforgettable Fire and the rest...

BUT, I'm just not that into them. I think Coldplay is a bigger thing in my heart these days. After all, this is about the heart right? Coldplay just moves me in a deeper way, way deep.

Everyone out there getting their latest CD, enjoy! I will get my copy soon enough.

God Uses Song to Bring Man Back to Church

Sometimes in worship ministry you wonder, does it make a difference. Of course you can't live there, because you do it for the glory of God. But these stories are good because they tell us God is at work.

This is from one of our singers in our Reimagine Fall 2004 band that led worship a month ago or so:

"The story that I shared with you came from my Vantage Point dinner home fellowship a couple of weeks ago which included.... The story goes that... brother has had a very rough life (I don't know the details) but has recently been working at doing better and is currently living with ... and .... He has not been a church goer for a very long time, but .. and .. have been inviting him to come.

Well, he happened to decide to come for the first time on that Sunday that we did Reimagine, and he came home beaming and told them that he had heard that song "At the Foot of the Cross" and it was the most beautiful song he had ever heard before, so much that it brought him nearly to tears. And apparently, he has been much more interested in and willing to coming back to church again. It just goes to show how God can use anyone - even a bunch of new guys who hadn't even know most of the songs or eachother a month before, to further his kingdom and reach the lost lambs.

I had found myself nervous that Sunday since it had been so long since I had sung in front of others, but that all reassured me that it is not about me anyway. It's all about putting ourselves out there (even if it's a little scary) so that God can use us as He sees fit!

Andrea."

Ask For A Raise and Get It

Not bad advice. I might just do it:

With this strategy, you can build a nearly inarguable case supporting your raise.

"You are building a case that the boss can't refuse," Lantz said. "That's the message."

Did you save the company a boatload of money? Did you bring significant revenue to the business? Did you solve a huge problem? Bring these facts to light in the meeting, Lantz said.

Even if the bottom line is not the nature of your position, have you gone above and beyond the call of your work?

Are you taking on more responsibilities than assigned to you originally? Are you doing things not in your job description?

"Go do the job before you actually get paid for it," Lantz said.

Gloria Enoch, admissions representative for Oakland City University in Indianapolis, always tells students to keep a personal portfolio of certificates attained and classes attended to present during the meeting.

"Do more than what you were hired to do," she said. "With the marketplace and the job field, you have to show your value and you have to show your interest. It is required to go above and beyond."

She encourages using tuition reimbursement programs to return to school. Extra training such as this serves as an incentive for a raise, too, because you are studying about your profession outside of the job. That improves your marketability, Enoch said.

You are selling yourself, which means you should create an environment where the boss can't say no.

Some additional tips:
# If you've gone the extra mile, you can ask for a raise whenever you want, Lantz said. "There's no magic to the timing of it if, in fact, you've done all those things."


# Still incredibly nervous? Re-evaluate what you've done and your benefit to your company.


# Research what other people in your line of work earn. Are their salaries similar to yours?


# Practice your presentation at home, with friends, family or on tape, until you are confident and ready to set the stage for yourself.

Some Place for Intimacy and Mission

It seems God is up to something in this "Spring of My Soul" thing. Rachelle and I need a place to give and receive together. We've done many Bible studies through the years, some together, many just the two of us, many her or I 'faciltating' one. You know what I mean. We're both currently in a men's and women's small groups.

But this is different and yet it's not. I'm very concerned with the lack of small group community present in the lives of our band members. Most are not involved in one, beyond our rehearsals. The worship band is a place to begin and to serve, not the end of community and intimacy with God. So part of this is trying to model the right stuff.

But it's more than that. It's also about Rachelle and I doing this together. As our schedules keep getting crazier, children, work, stuff, we need a place to come together with other couples and be real together.

And there's more. We also need to pass this on. Not marriage stuff alone, but this God missional thing. We want to pastor, challenge, be challenged together, and read the Bible together, pray, and serve.

It's basically a small group for couples. We need to start one.

Can You Say Video Tape?

You've obviously seen the images from the Detroit-Indiana game tonight (if not, you will soon...)

What were they thinking? It's all on video. Expect major fines, suspensions, criminal charges for both players and fans.

Can you say too much beer?

The local team (Detroit) was losing by 15 with 45 seconds left in the game when the event happened. There are still a lot of good players, but this makes the NBA look even worse (see Kobe), than it already looks.

Can you say rich, angry kids?

Ahora Quiero A Tres

I remember having such an overwhelming love for our first born. I now love her even more. Before our second was born I worried, how can I love the same way again? Then our third came. What happened is my heart grew huge with love for each one. I can no longer love one, although I love each one with all I have. I can no longer love one, live for one, die for one, for now I love three.

This is a song I wrote in 10mns. just this morning while I was playing with little David (17 moths) and I was missing our other two, who are with gramma and granpa. It all just hit me and here it is.

To all you parents of one, two, three, whatever, wondering how to love more than you already do. To those expecting their first, or second or more, when you wonder what how to love more than one.

In Spanish. The google translation (not great), follows:

Ahora Quiero A Tres

Verso 1
No puede querer a uno
Porque ahora tengo tres
Cuando solo tenia uno, queria a uno
Pero ahora tengo tres

Coro
Mi Corazon es solo tuyo
Y de ustedes a la misma vez
No puedo querer a uno
Porque ahora quiero a tres

Verso2
A Canela y a Isabela
Hijas nuestras, bellas son
Y a David el hombrecito
Apasionada extension

Bridge
Cuando joven yo decia
Como sera sentir tan gran amor
Por mas que a este uno
Como amar con mas passion?

Mi corazon se a engrandecido
Con tal facilidad
Al ver a estas tres criaturas
De Jesus con gran ternura
Son ustedes, hijos, mi felicidad

©2004, David Trigueros, Bethany Church.

Now I Love Three

Verse 1
Cannot love just one/Because now I have three/When single one, I loved to one/ But now I have three/ Chorus My Heart is yours alone/and of all to the three/Now I cannot love one/Because now I love three/ Verse2 To Canela and Isabela Daughters of ours/beautiful they are/and to David the spectacular little man/passionate extension/ Bridge When young I said/What's it like to feel so great love/but to this one Like loving with but passion?/My heart has grown/to love With such ease/ When seeing these three creatures/ From Jesus with great tenderness/ you, children, my happiness Are yourselves/

©2004, David Trigueros (or David 'Wheat' as google translated. I like it.)

Less Time Online

I find that I'm spendling less time online.

Read Blogs/NewsReader, 3-5mns (daily)
Blogging, 20mns (daily)
Check/Answer Emails, 5-7mns (daily)
Buy music, etc, 5-10mns (1x/week)
Miscellaneous, 3-5mns (daily)
Total=about 45-50 mns (less than 1 hr a day)

That's it. I'm done.

Final Inspection Today

We're waiting for the inspector to do the final inspection today. If there are no more corrections, he had 5-6 of them last time he came (mostly minor stuff), we should have a clear and our home remodel would pass final inspection.

What will he check?
1. Gas lines, they put a gas meter to be sure the pressure is strong and there are no leaks. We ran the same test yesterday and we're good. We did have two leaks, fixed them and we're good
2. Final electrical - meter properly labelled, etc.
3. AC/heating - last time, the emergency switch was not far enough (30" or more) from the condenser unit (it was about 15")....picky! That's done
4. Shower door on, done
5. Crawl space screens, done
6. Platform in the upstairs AC crawl space for servicing, done

Those kinds of things....I think we're ready. We'll see if we pass. If not, we'll have to do more corrections and do this again.

How do I feel? I'll feel releaved once we pass, knowing our home meets code in all major areas. That's more of a safety issue, feeling like the house won't blow up, or fall appart, burn on you. Is the house done? Yes, it's been done for 2-3 months, except for our upstairs bathroom, that took forever. But as you all know, a house is never done.

Nonetheless, I'm thankful for what's been done here, the project, the space, the floorplan, the cost....well, that's a different story. Would I do a nother remodel. Probably not. I would buy a bigger house if we could afford it. Our attitude is one of thankfulness, of God's goodness, of being able to finish a major 1,000 sq. ft, two story, project without injuries, law suits (not yet at least), and our family made it through with three small chidren, gramma's major complete reconstructive knee surgery, my mom being here for three months to help her, etc.

Thank you Lord for helping us.

Update: No pass yet. A few more gas corrections. Could be minor/major.

You Walk Like An Elephant - Bad Bosses

The thing here is that we all feel like we have a bad boss. But don't forget that we too are bosses to someone. So the same could apply to us.

How am I as a 'boss'? I have to say, not always very good. Selfish, angry, not relational enough, unforgiving, harsh...all are things I can be. I can also be genuine, encouraging, releasing gifts and other stuff. Ah, what a tough thing it is to lead well.

I like his first rule: Get along with yourself.

Maxwell once again puts this down where we live. Not a Maxwell fan? Remember good leaders keep learning. I hold Maxwell in one hand and Dallas Willard in the other...
Building Better Relationships:

"'I have had a weight problem all my life,' another website visitor wrote. 'I had a boss who told me, twice, that 'we have to teach you how to walk like a lady instead of charging around here like an elephant.''

According to an article on npr.org, other frequently mentioned bad-boss behavior included 'showering criticism while stinting on praise' and, acting like an employee's best friend one day and his worst enemy the next."

No Coffee

I enjoy coffee. Who doesn't right? About a month ago I spoke to a Sleep Specialist. He is now one of our pastors at Bethany and he was giving away free advice while in the car one day, so hey why not listen in?

He said that even if you think 'coffee doesn't affect me at night...' and even though you may still fall asleep, you may not sleep as deeply because you may never get to that famous REM sleep. He said that if you drink coffee, have it before 1 or 2pm otherwise it will affect how well you sleep at night.

Wow, I used to have coffee in the morning, then a cup or two around 3-4pm, and sometimes again around 8-9pm. But for the last month, I've completly cut back. I have coffee in the morning, and maybe one more cup around 1 or 2, but hardly. That's it.

Am I sleeping better? I think so. I've been going to bed around 10pm, last night 9:30pm, instead of my usual 11 or 12 at midnight. I feel better.

Top 10 Good Christian

Top 10 Good Christian
Originally uploaded by dtrigueros.

I like the one about letting people know about your devotions this week...both Rachelle and I laughed at that one. Maybe that's because we do that? Hope not.

Get Off the Dime, Monday

Thinking: how did last night go, how was the meeting, how did I do...the post Sunday pastor brain. Trying to stop from thinking, hardly.

So I'm off the dime. Put away a bunch of stuff in the back yard, praying, thinking, ooops, no thinking, there I go again. What's all this stuff doing back here anyway? These roots should have been taken out when I payed that guy $300.00 to take care of this! Arghh....don't get frustrated, do what's right, that was my message last night wasn't it? I hate hearing my own message notes in my head when I'm trying to focus on me. Truth, is over-rated...but I need it.

Okay, on to chest and back. I need to, last week I only did 3 workout with heavy weights and 2 aerobic, total 5. Not bad if you're a fish. But for Bombers it's gotta be 6 days with heavy weights, and superset 2 of those days with 20 mns of treadmill or run up and down Roswell Ave. So today I had to get off to a good start. Let's go. Bench, incline, pullovers, 12 sets, heavy stuff, yes, good. Back, t-bar, pullovers, deadlifts, I love deadlifts, they kill me but what a burn. 25 to failure, 4 sets, 4 sets, back is toast, but good. Abs, yes, I could do those all day, crunches, reverse, same arm and side, pectorals, serratus, the whole thing. Where's the six-pack? Went checked it out in the girl's mirror, it's the largest one in the house, it's coming along...more of a late night martini than a full on 6-pack but it's making progress....200 reps is good enough. Good workout, quick, 50 mns. and hard.

4pm teacher/parent conference for our 5 year old, she's doing well, Student of the Month and all. Nice. Just like her.....mother (father?). : ) Dentist appt this AM with our 3 year old, she used to suck her thumb a lot, she's fine though. Good teeth run on both sides.

Romans paper, from last semester, almost there. Apologetics paper#3, reading "Secular City" by Moreland, heavy stuff.

Lunch is coming, tuna, protein drink, string cheese, apple, lots of water. That's it. Then around 3pm, protein drink, yogurt, hard bioled egg. Dinner, we'll see, I've had it with grilled chicken, sorry George Foreman. Maybe we'll do salmon today, I miss the orange fish.

Get off the dime, Monday is here, get out there and live and stop thinking so much.

Russia With Love

After today's missions emphasis, which was one of the best I've seen at Bethany in years, lots has been stirring in Rachelle and my heart.

Mostly, that we are caught up in ourselves and very little in other's lives. Second, we're talking about going to Russia as a family.

We were also very proud of our sister in law, Suzanne, who's going to Cambodia this winter. She, along with the other 5 women going, were commissioned this morning.

Other highlights: Message by Clark from Sacramento was down to earth yet eye opening regarding the need in the world, 10/40 window, etc.

So Mission's Sunday is over, now back to my selfish life.

When Do You Visit Blogs

According to the sitemeter for this blog, most of you visit on Saturdays and at the beginning of the week and fade a bit as the weekend approaches. That makes sense being that the weekend is a busy time for most of us. We do seem to have a pretty consistent relationship all week long.

Site Visit Results for 11.07.04:
Mon-38
Tues-46
Wed-47
Thurs-21
Friday-33
Sat-37
Sun- 32
Total Week-254

Thanks for reading and coming over to say hello.

Mood: Low

What can I say....Just a blue kind of evening. Doubt, worry, expectations, Satan, stress, fear. Lord, help me.

I know it's going to be a great weekend. Tomorrow at 7am, men's study. Sunday am, Missions Sunday. Sunday pm, speak in Resonate, Ecc. 8.

I was talking to gramma earlier today about my life, future, how I worry. I said to her, "I need so much wisdom..." She kept saying, "do things now while you're still young...you're just getting started."

Real Estate in LBC

Today, between study breaks for Sunday night (Ecc. 8), I get to drive around with Lance, church planter to Long Beach, as they look for a home. They're relocating from Valencia, CA near Magic Mountain. Wow, it's a tough market right now, although things are slowing down. Should be fun.

As I Prepare for Missions Sunday

Rev 15:3 ...Great and wonderful are Your works, Lord God the
Almighty! Righteous and true are Your ways, O King of the
nations!

God cares about the world doesn't he? We should too.
A. Pray
B. Give
C. Go
D. Ignore.

Those are our options. Which do you choose?

Feeling Worried

I hate feeling worried, it shows my lack of faith. It hits me once in a while like today. Worried about church stuff, how I'm viewed by others, what I need to do to get ahead. That's silly. Some one said to me today, "you better be good on Sunday..." Everything in me wants to stress out and do more than I can, to be something I'm not. Instead all I should say is "I'll do my best, I'll be myself" and do just that.

Lord, help me trust you more each day.

Christmas Planning-Full Swing

Annual Meeting is over, this week is Misisons Sunday and aftet that all that's left on the Sunday church calendar is Christmas.

So that's what's on my mind. This years Christmas Eve theme is off a song called, "God So Loved the World." It has media, readings, acoustic christmas songs, message in an intimate, worshipful setting. Jonathan and Susie are planning the whole evening.

We start rehearsals this week.

I'm also in full planning for our Winter Artists Retreat, "The Heart of the Artist" in Big Bear, Feb. 2005.

We're also in preplanning mode for our equipping worship ministry called "Reimagine." The next 5 week term is in March 2005.

Christmas-Artists Retreat-Equipping Bands-Easter-Small Groups-Summer. That's the flow of the first half of the year in 2005.

Summmer Concerts-Missions Trips-Fall Kick-Off-Equipping Bands-Annual Meeting-Christmas. There's the second half of 2005.

In the middle there's life, reality, trust, waiting on the Holy Spirit, following God. That's just the flow, the river is Jesus, the Church is the means, the World is our Mission.

Holy, Holy, Holy is the Lord God Almighty. All Glory be to His Name!

We Want a Republican Jesus

Read this in light of the Jesus Map and the comments you're hearing from your unchurched Democratic California, Kerry voting friends...wow. McLaren gets a lot of things right:

A Generous Orthodoxy....an interview with Brian McLaren:

"Next-Wave: In the book you talk about being surrounded by Christians who like the idea of the American God, and the middle-class Republican Jesus. How do you think this culture has distorted the view of lordship?"

Flowers-Chapter 1a

I'm beginning to write out a chapter in my story. Chapter 1 is called Flowers. Chapter 1 is not done, nor is it necessarily the first chapter of the 'book', but it's what came to mind today and it just kept coming.

"The walk down the middle of the crowded church never seemed longer. The fact that hundreds of people were waiting for us didn’t faze me one bit. Some were waiting restlessly inside, whispering, some sobbed quietly, most of them sat in shock at the recent events. Some stood outside, hoping to get a glimpse of the casket, of the sadness, perhaps of our faces.

I had just arrived a few hours ago for my father’s funeral. It was literally happening as the plane landed at Managua’s International Airport in Nicaragua, my home country. As my mother and I walked down the aisle, an aisle where the joy of expectant couples was more fitting than a funeral, we embraced each other, bracing ourselves for what was about to happen.

In a few minutes I would see my father lying asleep, but asleep never to awaken again. My father had died just a few days ago. Today was Monday. He died Sunday morning around 6am of systemic sclerosis at the young age of 57. We approached the box. It was a brown casket, covered with white veils and cloths of some type that seemed fitting for a funeral. There were flowers everywhere.

I wanted to see him so much. I wanted to see it for myself. There he was, yellow from the Hepatitis that finally took his life. Just a few months ago, he and I had walked together to the corner clinic just three blocks away in the middle of urban Managua, hand in hand to get his blood levels checked out. They didn’t look very good and neither did he. Now, there he lay, gone from my eyes. His eyes closed to this world, but open to another, so I knew, yet it didn’t matter to me at the time. My father was gone. My mother sobbed and sobbed. The room moved and groaned and cried with every tear that fell from her eyes. I was stone dry. No tears. I was in shock, in disbelief, yet very aware of my surroundings.

I remember so much about that day, in fact, I remember almost every second of it and of the following days. I wrote a lot, I took lots of mental notes. I cried lots, mostly alone, on the flight back to Los Angeles, with my mom a few times, not often. I cried with my sisters, trying to be their counselor, yet later realizing how much I needed to be counseled. Then began my understanding of mortality, of death and dying, of the end.

But the flowers spoke loudly into my soul. The flowers were amazing. What moved me the most were the flower arrangements in the front of the church, five, perhaps six of them, surrounding my dad, three of four on each side. Later, I realized who they were from: CEPAD, my dad’s job of thirty years, which in the end fired and humiliated him, something my dad never openly shared with me. The Araica’s, who had loved my dad before he became pastor of this very church where he now layed lifeless...."

Worshipping the Pastor

In a very honest post, "i took the red pill" blogs about her experience not entering community because she enjoyed her pastor so much. Now that he's leaving, she's going to stop going to church. It seems as if "i took the red pill" is connected in more ways than she assumes in this post.

But this post made me think of our church. Some people in our church don't get involved in a smaller community because they love our pastor. "He's so good, he speaks so well, I could listen to Him all day..." are some of the things I often hear about him, and it's true. I agree. And that's not his fault. But enjoying the pastor is not a replacement for being in community with others.

"our dear friend and pastor is leaving our (his?) church. it's not until june, but we have decided to stop going, anyway. it's funny, but not funny at all, that weekend i spent with the other women, pursuing our spirit places, connecting with our hearts -- that was church to me. that was more like church than almost anything else i have ever done.

and i realised how very much we went to church because of the pastor. because we love him. we never entered into community, and we really didn't even enter into worship, but something about connecting with his heart gave us the courage to keep connecting with our own. and his words, though not always something we could feel for ourselves, inspired us that something bigger lay beyond our experiences."

Apples and Horn

Today our family went to Riley's Farm to pick apples. It's a place near Redlands if you know the area. Everything went well except for an injury. Isabela, our 3 year old got rammed by a goat. The thing scratched her stomach. It was crazy. She's fine after some neosporin and band-aids, and thankfully the goat didn't break her skin.

I guess that's what goats do, after all we were in its turf. $1 doesn't get you much these days.

Still, driving home, I had images of going inside the corral and kicking the thing to death. Oh, what parents will do for love.

I Am Story Teller Style Preacher

Reading "Refining Your Teaching Style", a book on the different approaches to preaching - story telling (Max Lucado), revolutionary (McManus), artist (Rob Bell, Trotter) and others, I am none of them 100%, but I am closest to the story-telling style.

The danger of the story-teller is you can preach just fluff, not the Word. I can struggle with that. Max Lucado says the same thing.

The way to improve the story telling style is to refine how you tell the story, cleaning it up, creating tension, climaxing the end, retyping the paragraph a few times, etc.

The strength of story-telling is that stories break people's barriers and open the heart.

I'm glad God's given me this gift. I also relate to the visionary style, revolutionary and artistic styles. Those are not as strong a passion, but story telling is.

I think one trait of this gift is that I see a story just about everywhere. My day is a moving, passionate story, interrupted by the normal here and there.

Jesus Land

new_map
Originally uploaded by dtrigueros.

Here's the picture from the post a few days ago.

Add Value to Your Emergent Leaders

Larry, Seth, David, Lou, Dutze, I have 5-6 young worship leaders and countless other artists and musicians around that want development, but they all need different things. Some are very self-motivated. The leaders usually are. Others need a little more prodding, but they want to make a difference too. Some need guitar lessons, voice lessons, a Cd and songbook with new songs. Others need equipment, keys. Some need Bible study, spiritual guidance, some need a friend. Almost all of them need someone to invest INTO them.

The church and worship bands, can be guilty of having people join MY VISION. In other words, who can help me?

Instead, I've been reading and trying this idea of "adding value to leaders around me." It's the idea of 'you're good, I can make you better.'

There is a young singer that has a gift from God. She is trained, coaches others, teaches music at the local high school. She sings a lot and doesn't think she 'needs' me in her life, or to join 'my thing.' She's right. But I could see she was struggling with her pop/rock sound. She would sing songs of that style, and was hesitant in some parts, good but not great. And also, she was unconnected to the church. I know that type, artists without connection beyond the stage.

So I approached her 2-3 times and said, 'you're good, here's why you need me..." A bit forward, but I explained to her what I meant. I complimented her on her gifts, her talent, her songs. All artists, and people for that matter, need that. Then I told her of why our ministry could benefit HER. I spoke of community, connection, passion for worship, and of finding a pop/rock sound. She was hooked. She is now been at every rehearsal and can't wait to sing. Now that I have a captive audience in her and her husband, we're talking about connection to the body. Sensitive issue, she has many excuses, etc. But we have the relationship, and I mentioned this to her from upfront, at the first interview. So it's no surprise. I am praying and talking about how to see them grow in their marriage. What gave me the chance to speak into her life? I'm trying to Add Value to her as a singer and musician. She feels invested into, she may be willing to hear my spiritual advice as well. I hope so.

This article on "Value Added" says the same things in a great way. Maxwell.

Jesus Land

This map is pretty telling. But is this good? It seems as if now White, Evangelical Christians are seen more as the enemy, as the ones to whom the rest of the country 'lost the election to.'

Is this a good or a bad thing for the Church? I wonder if there will be more people in church this Nov-Dec. Look out! Is it real? Another 9/11 bump? And what do we do? Ride the hype? Some churches certainly will.

What would I do? Call people to a genuine, authentic relationship with Jesus. I would be a great host, acknowledge people that may be 'seeking', but call their bluff as well. How many are there to be a part of the 'winnning team' but their faith is dead.

How many churches will chalk up growing numbers but do nothing with regards to the soul. Maybe, nothing will change, but I doubt it.

Link: c u l t u r e k i t c h e n.

A Spiritual Revival

It just seems that this election is bringing out not 'the revival' that perhaps is coming but spiritual/moral talk. I am fascinated and elated at the talk about morality, about this being a vote for the sacred not the secular. To hear the media talk about spiritual themes and moral issues is pretty incredible.

Gay marriage, stem cell, these are some of the moral values they're talking about. 22% of the people thought this was the major issue in this election. More than any other issue.

Not sure what it all means. But it's there.

Florida, Ohio. Big Deals.

Isn't it amazing how we do this? I wonder where this bantering will lead our country? Revolution? Insurrection? Protests?

Doing What I Do

I am a pastor. I am a worship leader. I am, who cares what I am. What matters is that I am seeking God, listening to Him. Today, we talked about how to be more real as pastors. Perhaps we don't do Resonate vision in 2005 right off the bat. Instead, we are talking about the need to unravel our young adult's modernity.

Also, we are concluding, finally, that Resonate (our young adult service) is not postmodern. Dah, some sould say! In other words, it's not, as McLaren talks about, World=Church=Self. But instead, it's the modern model, Self=Church=World.

For the most part, our young people compartmentalize their faith. Church is church, friendships with the unchurched is a different thing. We are realizing that many of our young adults, young marrieds are pretty content in the modern system. They don't necessarily want to be honest, or have their pastors share their stuff. They want us to be strong, good, visionary leaders that create good experiences for them and their children some day.

And college students, for the most part, can also fall into consumerism. Of course, this is what our modern churches, including us, have created, a consumer mentality. Better services, better messages, better music, better children's programs. And my duty? Show up, give, serve if I really have to.

So we conclude that the Spirit has to do a work, we as pastors have to get honest about our own journey and hunger for honesty. People have to choose if they want this kind of faith, to become this new kind of Christian.

Perhaps, our church will have two systems running simultaneously for a while - modern and whatever we do.

I'm not sure our church wants to/can/should go towards more emergent thinking. Resonate could. There are still many modern hands around the Resonate throat. That sounds harsh, but there's truth there. Our leaders just have to be concerened with the modern stuff - numbers, reaching out, a good service, good worship leading, good teaching, relevant series and the like.

That's important. I like that too, the modern in me. Remember, I'm both. I'm transitional, not native.

But it's not working for everyone. And most of all it's not reaching unchurched people, and worse, it's not calling people out of their consumerist lives.

Tomorrow morning, we meet again, to talk some more.

What's Between Spring and Winter?

Last year I experienced the "Winter of My Soul", and I'm not quite to Spring, so I'm somewhere in between.

I read in the paper the other day "I'm no longer there, I'm here now, and that helped me get here."

That's what the last blog and experience have done in me. I'm here now, and I'm glad.